Dear Ferret Folks-
 
Yesterday BIG wrote of this whole Sandee/SaraFerrit debate that "Unless
someone has some amazing new insight into all of this I think it's time
to end the debate since it's quite repetitive by now."
 
WAIT! WAIT! WAIT!
 
I do have an amazing new insight!  I want to start a ferret cult on
purpose, (how hard can if be, if we have a few already on the FML) so
that I can get it recognized as a church, and reap the tax-free benefits!
We have such an opportunity here, folks!
 
Here's what I'll do.  I'll start an e-mailbox in some hokey name, like
"The Corner Pan of the Eternal Donation".  I don't think that Sandee
Ferret, angel of death that she is, is a strong enough personality in
and of herself to be the frontman, so I'll do that myself.
 
I nominate Kim Fox to be our Psychic "Reader of the Pan."
 
I nominate Todd L.  and Death Adder to be our media contacts, "Speakers
of the Pan."
 
I nominate Switch and Lily to be the symbolic living embodiments of the
Cult (sort of like the Dalai Llama, only with fur), to be "Poopers in the
Pan."
 
I can mass spam animal lovers everywhere, and solicit them for donations!
"Pass The Pan!"
 
IMAGINE THE RESIDUALS!  Poop in the Pan Elmo!  The Kukla, Pan, and Ollie
Children's Hour!  "Shredded Bubblegum Litter" for your child's own deluxe
vinyl reproduction Pan!  (With collector's carrying case, limited
edition, no more than two sold to a customer.)  The Tollhouse chocolate
Chip companiy might want a piece of the action with a limited addition
"Pan Cookie" recipe!  It could tie in with Ecko Cookware's Teflon- lined
"Baking Corner Pan"!  And all of it, hiding behind a completely legal
widdle biddy tax shelter!
 
Oh, God Bless Ammmmmerica!
 
Alexandra in Massachusetts
Soon to be filthy-rich "Majority Stockholder of the Pan"!
 
[Moderator's note: I don't know about this... if it doesn't "pan out"
does that mean us common stockholders will be left to "scoop up the
pieces?"  (Apologies to non-American readers for using such idioms,
but sometimes you just gotta go with it...)  BIG]
[Posted in FML issue 4365]