Hi everyone... Betty here... I know... I only write when something sad
happens... sorry... but in my defense... this is a place where I feel
safe sharing this stuff... so, I hope you will all take my actions as a
compliment to your empathy and caring nature.
 
well... I know some of you have read my posts about euthanization...
tonight I put my own advice to work in my own life... One of my FIRST
adopted ferrets Pugsly... who came to me HUDGE as a house... well he wasnt
so hudge anymore... he lost a ton of weight... my poor little pugsley...
he looked so sad..  he wasnt moving, his little paws were shaking... his
eyes were half open and he was rumbling, respiratory difficulties... this
once roaring, bullying bad boy... now small and frail... he cuddled in my
arms and just lay there... not moving... I knew in my heart that he wanted
to go to sleep... I knew in my heart that I wouldnt want to keep being
this way (If I were him)... I thought about it asked questions... cried
alot... I guess you always cry... these kinds of decisions dont ever get
easy or painless... I guess that is a good thing... who would want this
to be painless... The more I looked at him the more I realized that tests
and doctors werent the answer for my puggie... the answer was me and my
ability to say good-bye... my ablity to tell him that it was okay to go...
and to even help him.  I know some people see that as the easy way out...
but trust me there is nothing easy about this... its painful and sad and
heartbreaking.  I love that little guy... and I miss him terribly... I
believe I did the right thing and I think my puggie is going to be better
now, better at the bridge than here in this world with his illnesses... he
must have been so scared ... I cant imagine how he must have felt, but I
know this... I held him tonight and told him I love him and that it was
okay and that he would be better soon and how sorry I was that he couldnt
stay longer but that I understood.  I held him until he drifted off... I
held him and kissed his little head and stroked his little paws and made
sure he knew that I love him.  He really seemed to just drift off to
sleep... he dint struggle or gasp or whimper... he just drifted off.... I
love my babies... and I still think that this is supposed to be hard.  Im
glad its not easy, Im glad I cry for the loss and mourn his passing... Im
glad he was here with me and Im glad I was there with him... I will see
him again someday when I meet my babies at the bridge ... for now, I will
miss him and hope that he knows how much I love him and how much I will
always love him.
 
and Sandee... could you please watch for my puggie... he was a bit of a
bully MY Chip will remember him.  I hope they can get along at the bridge,
they dint do too well in this world but maybe you know some tricks for the
bridge... I would be really happy if they could find a way to be friends
up there.  Puggie likes chicken and rice baby food, heavy cream and
ferretone... sheesh, who doesnt like ferretone??  Thank you sandee... I
appreciate you more than you will ever know!
 
*someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection... the lovers... the
dreamers ... and meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!*
 
Have you hugged your ferret today??
-Betty
[Posted in FML issue 3612]