Agents Eloise and Sabine here.  We must report a distressing reversal of
results in what we considered our best maneuver yet against FDI Agent
Griffin.  We were so proud of our success!  Agent Griffin was in total
confusion!  Alas, our triumph did not last long.  Here are the details:
 
Agent Eloise has mainly used Agent Griffin to hitch a ride across the room,
and she was content with her domination of his 13 shiny black pounds by her
sleek sable 1.6 pounds.  Agent Sabine has spent the past two years nipping
his back knees and sending him shooting upward toward higher ground.  But
about a month ago she developed an enhancement to her technique that we
delighted in daily.  Agent Sabine had tracked Agent Griffin to the hooded
litter box many times, but last month she discovered that not only could she
enter the box with him while he was occupied with serious business, she
could also bite him in several places before his business was done.  How
Agent Griffin cried!  How he leapt from the box in humiliation when he was
done without even covering his business!
 
Agent Eloise was preparing to scale the heights of the dresser to relieve
the Neutral Humans of one of the WWII medals she had secreted behind the top
drawer.  She intended to hang it around Agent Sabine's neck at night when no
one was about.  However, she delayed her raid when the Neutral Human female
who cleans up the poops found a Griffin poop two feet from the box.  The NH
had heard Agent Griffin's cries and lectured Agent Sabine more than once.
She had even tried to rescue Agent Griffin.  (Less than neutral behavior, we
might add.)  The NH was not deceived for one moment into thinking Agent
Griffin might have left that poop there intentionally.  She knew it had been
left in mid-flight.  Agent Eloise determined it was best to lay low for a
day or two.
 
Then Agent Griffin retaliated!  No longer would he use the hooded box which
he and Agent Oreo share with we five FLO agents.  He began to use the little
FLO boxes filled with rabbit pellets.  His large body filled each little box
as he squatted in it, and no FLO agent could slip in behind him any more,
for each box is carefully placed in a favorite FLO corner.  In fact, we only
used the hooded box to aggravate the FDI.  Being much slower of wit and less
devious, they had tolerated our invasion for two years.  But Agent Sabine's
brilliant attacks had, unfortunately, served as a stimulus to Agent Griffin's
synapses.  He not only had a coherent thought, he also acted upon it.
 
As a result, only the boxes in our two cages are still free of the reek of
the urine of the despised FDI.  As a further result, the NH is saying bad
words while she replaces the rabbit pellets four times as often.  Agent
Eloise has decided to save the medals for a more successful campaign.  Agent
Sabine has given up on the FDI for now and is trying to tear the bedding out
of the three upstart FLO agents' cage.
 
Signing off in shame
Agents Eloise and Sabine
[Posted in FML issue 1675]