The cats and I found this in a fuzzy hidey hole,and are wondering just
what's going on here.The fuzzies aren't talking and have been giving us
strange looks,and then looking at each other.Here are a few paragraphs,
please tell us what you think.
Controlling your cat is almost as easy as controlling your human.On the
first day,be sure to show them who runs this place now.Tell them you don't
know who this Bast is,and don't care.Establishing dominance right away is
very important.Make them understand that higher is better.Whenever you find
a cat where they don't belong,the floor,your chair or anything else you can
reach,sneak up behind them and get their ears.Start by licking,it lulls
them into a false sense of security,and then give a good chomp.Most will
run and go back to those high places.Those that don't may need to be
reminded of our superiority.This may be accomplished by biting the back of
their neck and going for a ride.This is effective and fun.
Remember to potty in their box,this really makes them mad,but don't let
them go in yours.If they are watching,be sure to make a big production out
of it.Get in there and steal their food.You don't need to take it all,they
get just as frustrated by you stealing some of it.Digging to China on the
cats' back does nothing to confirm your dominance.It only causes the cat to
make a funny rumbling noise,but if this is followed by an ear chomp,it may
work. Watch out when going through and under things,such as rugs and
tubes.Cats are sneaky and could be waiting at the other side to whomp you
on the head.When this happens,show them they aren't the only ones that know
how to hiss.Remember,cats have claws and teeth,so throw them off balance
and go for the toes.Also do the crazy dance that smart humans love,it
confuses the cat.Keep all these things in mind and before long,you'll have
a well trained feline.
Are we in trouble here? Should we look into getting help? Love your fuzzy
today,for tomorrow they may take over.
Sandy and fearful felines and chucklin' ferts.
[Posted in FML issue 3014]
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