Howdy,
 
Disclaimer: Those of you who are offended by disclaimers should not read
this disclaimer.
 
I had a rather odd and briefly terrifying experience a couple days ago.
While cleaning my apartment, I noticed that Insanity had climbed up to the
top level of the cage and was curled up peacefully sleeping.  I decided to
take a short break from cleaning to disturb his peaceful sleep.  How dare
he just curl up and sleep when I have to work!  Besides, him and his
cohorts do the same thing to me every night when I'm trying to sleep.  So I
mosied on over to the cage, all set to commence a disturbing.  But when I
got close enough, I caught sight of something that sent chills down my
spine.  It was brown & red and had a toenail and appeared for all the world
to be a bloody ferret toe, completely unattached to any ferret!
 
Immediately, my irrational mind went into panic mode, "Oh No!  One of my
ferrets got their toe caught on something and couldn't get it loose until
they ripped it right out of its socket!  He must be in such pain!  I'm such
a terrible ferret dad!  Bad me!  Bad me!  Bad me!"
 
Fortunately, my rational mind piped up, "Whoa, whoa, whoa!  Slow down
there.  Think about this for a second.  If one of the ferts had gotten
their toe caught, they would have been squawking like a chicken on the
chopping block.  You've been here all morning and haven't heard anything.
Besides, toes don't have sockets." (Yes, I frequently have conversations
like this with my self)
 
"But, but...but maybe one of them has laryngitis and couldn't make noise.
And what about the blood?"
 
"It's just red.  That doesn't mean blood.  If one of the ferts ripped their
toe out there would've been a whole heap more blood.  There would've been
bloody, three-toed foot prints all over the place."
 
"But, but...but maybe when the toe came off, it hurt really, really, realy
bad so the ferret put his paw in his mouth.  That's what I do when I slam
my fingers in the door."
 
"Now you're just being an idiot.  First of all, you shouldn't be slamming
your fingers in the door.  That hurts you know.  And second of all....well,
second of all, you're just an idiot.  Just reach in there and grab it so
you can take a look at it."
 
"EEEWWWWWW! I don't want to touch a bloody, severed ferret toe!"
 
"Stop being such a weenie.  Just reach in there and grab it.....And stop
talking to yourself!"
 
So I reached into the cage and grabbed it.  When I examined it, I realized
it was nothing more than a ferret toe-shaped piece of brown fuzz from the
rug at the bottom of the cage.  One end had a little bit of red fuzz from
the other rug I use for the cage.  But the clincher was at the other end.
There, placed almost perfectly in the middle, was a ferret toenail,
presumedly from a past nail clipping session.  Altogether, it made an
excellent facsimile of a bloody ferret toe.
 
I let out a sigh of relief.  I had been fooled by the coincidental placing
of two bits of fuzz and an old toenail.  But then, as I stood there feeling
relieved, I swear I could barely hear near-hysterical laughter coming from
underneath the dresser where Ricochet and Turbo usually hang out.  That
got me thinking, was it really coincidental?  Or did Ricochet, a known
prankster, have something to do with it?  Sigh.  Sometimes I wonder why I
put up with these little fur brats.
 
May your fuzz be always coincidental,
Limejello & The Weezils of Doom
http://home1.gte.net/wrenched
[Posted in FML issue 2941]