(Our scene begins as Switch, dragging a magazine in her teeth, joins
Sabrina beneath the dining room table.)
 
Switch: "Whew!  That was close!"
 
Sabrina: "No kidding, I can't believe they didn't hear you pull this out
from under the sofa."
 
Switch: "It was easy dragging it, the cover is really slippery on the
rug."
 
Sabrina: "I'll just open it up now that we have it in some light down
here.."
 
Switch: "Whoa! Careful! That shiny paper is really dry, and-"
 
Sabrina: "-And my node will thtick do id..."
 
Switch: "Yeah. I hate that about periodicals."
 
Sabrina: (Licking nose) "Ugg!" (Still licking) "Tastes terrible!"
 
Switch: "Bet it hurt when you ripped it off the paper.."
 
Sabrina: "My poor nose. I'll need to moisturize it with ferretone."
 
Switch: (Flicking through the pages with a front paw)  "Almost there.."
 
Sabrina: "Almost.."
 
Switch: "There! The Centerfold!"
 
Sabrina: "Girlfriend, I live for this..."
 
Switch: "Baby! That is oooooone hot Hob."
 
Sabrina: "Smokin'!"
 
Switch : "He can curl up in my hammock anyday."
 
Sabrina: "Look at the tatoo in his ear!"
 
Switch: "Yup, he's a Marshall's Man."
 
Sabrina: "I wish this was scratch-n-sniff."
 
(Lewd, dooking laughter from both)
 
*SUDDENLY*
"Hey!" (A loud male voice from above) "Gimme that!"
 
Sabrina: "Omigod!  Our Hoomins!"
 
Switch: "Run!  Under the dishwasher!"
 
(Both scramble across the slippery kitchen floor)
 
Man: "Lookit, Honey..."(Bending down to retrieve the magazine)
 
Woman: "Why, it's Modern Ferret!"
 
Man: "I've been looking for this for ages!"
 
Woman: "Wow, I can't remember the last time it came in the mail."
 
Man: "This issue is from last month!"
 
Woman: "What's that sticking out from under the sofa?"
 
Man: "It looks like.."
 
Woman: (Down on hands and knees in front of the sofa)"It is!  This is the
July issue!"
 
Man: "Hey, I 've never seen either of them..."
 
Woman: (Reaching entire arm beneath the sofa and wiggling her hand around)
"More issues!" (Dragging out a handful) "There must be a dozen issues
stashed under here!"
 
Man: "Stashed...hmmm. Who would stash....say, wait a minute.."
 
(Our scene ends as Switch and Sabrina, cowering beneath the dishwasher,
their teeth clicking in fear like castanets, realize that they have been
FOUND OUT!)
 
Alexandra in Massachusetts
Insisting on bringing this debate down to her level, if it must continue.
[Posted in FML issue 3736]