Oh, Dear Ferret Folks-
 
I must confess that I am a baaaad person.  Even, as we say here in my part
of Massachusets, "WICKED bad!" But I am no worse that Switch the Kit.  We
are BOTH of us laughing at Sabrina the Blind Bat-Biter, as she attempts
the worlds worst jail break from the ferret room.
 
For a good twenty-five minutes now, Sabrina has valiantly been trying to
chew a hole through the plastic bars of the baby gate.  She lies down and
gnaws.  She gets up on all fours, and like a dog tugging on a rope, bends
one of the little bars a quarter of an inch before her shiny fangs slip
off and she falls back on her ass and rolls like a tin can in the gutter.
She grabs the little bars in her soft, brown fists and shakes the whole
gate.  She tries to jam her pointy head through the grating, only to be
stopped at the shoulder.  She scales the bars like a ladder, braces
herself, and basically jumps up and down in place, wiggling the whole
gate, her brow furrowed in concentration.  She is relentless.  Every now
and then the 'Door Buddy' mouse bonks her in the head and she swats it
away.
 
Why?  Because she can hear Switch galavanting around on the opposite side
of the gate, enjoying the freedom of the house.  Back and forth
tauntingly, back and forth... "Hee, hee, hee, I know a secret.."
 
(I can't stand it, I'm rescuing her now.)
 
Why was this funny?  Because the gate is NOT locked into the doorframe.
If she could see, she would have known that there is a two inch gap on
one side more than wide enough to allow your average weasel to escape, as
Switch could have let her know if Switch didn't think it was funny, too.
Switch is as bad as I am, if not worse.
 
Well, once I was done laughing at the disabled I moved her over bodily
two inches to the left where there was...no babygate.  Just empty door.
A mere two inches away.  Her brow made the angriest frown wrinkles you
can imagine, then she tore straight through the gap and bonked into the
island in the middle of the kitchen.  So much for scent marking obstacles!
I could have had a whole fragrant 250 pound roast hog there on a jumbo
platter with a fragrant apple in its mouth and she would have run smack
into it.
 
I don't think she has this blind business down yet.
 
Alexandra (WICKED bad) in Massachusetts
 
Switch the Kit: "Bwa-ha-ha-ha!"
 
Sabrina the Blind Bat-Biter: "See this little white cane, fur-face?"
 
BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK!
[Posted in FML issue 3778]