On a lighter note....
 
Twas the week before Christmas and all through the house,.all the
creatures were stirring .....INSIDE ONE OF MY CHAIRS!
 
Last night I'm crashed out in my favorite chair, my friend is crashed on
the sofa.  When I awoke to the clamor of weasels fighting inside the very
chair in which I sat.  Little ingrates.  How dare they invade a piece of
my furniture, rip it's stuffings, MAKE A NEST OUT OF IT and THEN proceed
to fight amongst themselves!!!  Overcome by the nerve of the collective
I decide, O.K. That's it, the gloves are off.  This is war.  Within
minutes I devised a plan to exorcise the chair of the furry demons.  I
plan to accomplish this by annoying them out of the chair.  I stick my
hand under this spot under the arm of the chair where they use a piece of
material as a hammy.  (Resourceful little buggers).
 
Sure enough, one of the little devils was hanging their napping and I
proceed with Mission: Annoy.  Heh heh heh I thought....Boing, boing,
boing.  Weeeeeeeeeeee.  Isn't this fun sweetheart?  Back and forth I
bounced her little fuzzy butt laughing to myself.  Half hearted attempts
were made to bite me through their make shift upholestery hammy but I
pressed on.  As I reach around, I got lucky.  To what do my prodding
fingers appear?  A great big opening where i could actually touch
her...my hand reaches for the furry little monster when all of a sudden
there is pain.  Alot of pain.  She has my finger and is biting.  Hard.
The harder I pulled away, the harder she bit down....and pulled.  My
finger had become a fleshy cheweasel being dragg ed to hidey hole hell.
Visions of tattered flesh danced in my head.  Through white hot pain I
swear I heard them chanting choruses of the Gremlin song.  "YA YA YA YA
YA YA!!!"
 
Dear God, they are enjoying this...and I... am being dismembered.  I can
honestly say that I have never been bitten this hard by any animal in my
life time.
 
Then it occurred to me, the ultimate horror.  What if my friend wakes up
to see me, arm stuck in a chair cursing at a piece furniture to please
set me free?  The men in the little white coats surely would be called
and I would never, ever live this one down.  What made the little demon
decide to finally let me go?  I'll never know, but finally she gave back
the finger...in it's entirety.  To my surprise, I was no worse for the
wear except for a tiny blood bruise.  I flipped the chair over,
uncovering six possible culprits, all looking innocent.  I knew in my
heart that it was none of the males.  Oh no, this vicious attack could
be carried out only by one of the girls...and there she was.... in the
corner sucking pieces of flesh from her teeth and snickering to herself.
I gathered up the innocent as well as the guilty and delivered the same
sentence to all.... lock down.  And I heard them exclaim as I sulked out
of sight..."Merry Christmas mom!  Bet ya won't try that again!".
 
YA YA YA YA YA YA......YA YA YA YA YA YA.
 
Fuzzy Hugs from Kim and da kids at Somethin Up My Sleeve Rescue
Ask me how you can virtually eliminate the need for veterinary dental
visits.
[Posted in FML issue 4004]