Dear FML:
 
On Saturday we had to put Ferris to sleep.  The Email in the Monday FML
was a copy of the one I sent to Gary Holowicki, Randy Belair and Rick
Beveridge.  I sent this also to all of you because I wanted you to know
he was gone but I was too emotionally distraught to create a second Email.
Hence the address to Gary.
 
I want to thank the three listed above for their help and guidance as we
went throught Ferris' illness together and attempted to fight off the
insulinoma with nutritional intervention.
 
Did it buy us more time?  Did it give Ferris a better quality of life than
a ferret on medication?  Was it more humane than surgical intervention?
 
I cannot answer these questions except to say that Ferris was enjoying his
life and was very active up to the last week when everything fell apart so
quickly it was breathtaking.
 
We did not have an autopsy performed so we will never know for sure but I
suspect there was massive tumour growth in the last few weeks of his life
as both Bill and I and the vet noted a change in his anatomy of his abdomen
and there was a noticable change in the texture and movement of his tummy
when you palpatated him.  There was never any sign of pain when you did
that but something was definitely changing.  At least perhaps it can be
said that the nutritional intervention gave a better quality to his life
but in the end I don't think it bought us more time.
 
Ferris was 6 and 1/3 years old when he died.  He was my son, Bill's best
pal and the one who kept him company at night when the lights were out and
the house was still.  It was never quiet in Bill's room and it was never
scarey because Ferris was always there - eating or sleeping close to Bill
or ferreting around in the room doing who knows what late at night.
 
Ferris was my total focus for the last year what with feedings every four
to five hours during the day my life centered around him.  I did it
willingly and with love.  Now what do I do?  I miss him terribly.  I have
my time back to myself but I would gladly go back to have him with me
again.  Our house is paralyzed with grief over this.
 
I still remember the first day we brought him home from the pet store and
how he war danced with joy around the room.  It is such a powerful and
joyful memory and I will treasure it always.  I know he waits for us at
the Bridge - I am counting on it.
 
Lynn (mom of Ferris and Meeka and Molly)
[Posted in FML issue 2447]