Condolences to those with lost, missing, or angeled itinerary munchers...
 
(Hey!  He's got his cooking classes listed here!  Anyone hungry?)
 
I have a fatty deposit.  Actually, he started out as a slightly
underweight ferret, but he is now known as a "double-wide" mobile home.
His name is Ghost.  He's lucky he's a ghost though, as it makes it easier
to scoot from here to there and kind of jump up on the cat.  His front
end works just fine for reaching up to grab the cat, to climb
(eventually) onto the couch and to get into things that ferrets have no
business getting into.
 
However, if you get right down on the floor and look directly at him,
you will see his extra wheel wells on each side (like those dual wheel
dualies--those pick-up trucks with double back wheels so they can carry
an extra large ferret--er, I mean extra loads).  I decided to let him out
to run around longer.  I also let Jessica out to play with him.  She's
much faster than he is.  She likes to play 'Tortoise and the Hare' with
him.  She'll run four or five feet, do a quick U turn and hide behind
something, waiting for him to wobble up.  When he gets near, she shoots
off again, stopping after a few feet and letting him catch up.
 
He's a good sport about all of this and will actually chase her clear
through the house like this.  Watching him run is hilarious.  He works
like mad, but only runs about as fast as a cat.  He likes to lay on his
back and get 'wrestled' with.  He has lots of activities, but he just
doesn't seem to lose much weight.  I'm thinking of getting him a weight
bench and free weights to help him work out.  Anyone think Slim Fast
might help here?  Maybe I could talk Jessica into putting him onto an
aerobics program.
 
I don't want to say he's real big, but yesterday he was moving his cage
around.  I don't mean the *things* in his cage--I mean his CAGE.  I'm
waiting for the day he drags the cat into the room by the scruff of his
neck.  I got a receipt in the mail the other day.  I recognized Ghost's
paw print on the signature line.  It was for a fork lift.  I asked him
what it was for and he told me that his cage is a bit too hard to climb
up into when he's out and about.  He said the fork lift would help him
get into and out of his cage.  I'm unplugging the phone when I go to work
from now on.
 
Jessica just laughs about the whole thing, then squirrels off to do
whatever it is that fit and trim ferrets do during the day.  Ghost shakes
his head and wobbles after her.  As he moves off, leaving dents in the
carpet with his little feet, I notice that he has a pronounces wiggle.
Its so pronounced that it starts at his ears and continues all the way to
the tip of his tail.  Can a ferret have a fat tail?  Maybe I should limit
his 'popcorn with extra ferretone' when he lays back and watches Animal
Planet.  Or maybe I could get Pittsburgh to sign him up as a Center--he
could block a few linebackers without much effort.  Or maybe he could be
the lead blocker for Bettis.  I can see the headlines now: 'The Bus
Breaks for Big Yardage, Following Behind the Mac Truck'.  Think I'll make
any money from that?
 
Todd and the (He's just livin' large!) Fuzzbutt Rodeo Clowns!
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http://www.netconex.com/toddl/page2/
[Posted in FML issue 3940]