This is the last I've recieved so far. Most of the private questions were
also mentioned in FML posts, a couple, like the post-stress question, were
asked by three or more people. Many questions were adrenal-off topic, or
just FML off-topic. But this is basically it (for now).
Q: "Can I use your [adrenal] posts in [my local ferret club newsletter]?"
A: Its against the law to mail dangerous things, and people have fallen
asleep on the seat and almost drowned after reading them! I'm not sure I
want to be called the Unabob.
Sure. Send me a copy if you have an extra.
Q: "If the adrenal issue is so complex...and the ferret is the third most
popular pet, why isn't someone researching a cure?"
A: That's 3rd most popular carnivore. The problem in the USA is ferrets
have a minor economic potiential when compared to livestock, horses, dogs,
cats and even fish. There are three ways to easily confirm this. First,
look at the book section of your local book store. At my favorite store,
there were 7 shelves on dogs, 4 shelves on cats, 3 on horses, 3 on fish, and
4 on everything else. There were exactly 4 books on ferrets from 3 authors,
two were first printed more than 10 years ago (The other two were Modern
Mary Shefferman's book "The Ferret," and the rebundled 1996 "Ferrets Today"
disguised as a new 1997 book, which it ain't).
The second way to tell is to look at the back of pet magazines and see who
pays for the slick ads and what they are advertizing. Large incomes = large
ad budgets = slick ads. Advertizers put their money where they think the
profits are. I suspect most of the big players are still waiting to see if
ferrets pan out to be more than just a passing fancy.
The third way is to see how many graduate students are doing their research
on ferret issues. Quite literally, scores of theses (rhymes with feces) are
approved each year for livestock, dozens for companion pets, and very few on
ferrets themselves; that is, not including those using ferrets as research
models for other species.
The reason for the disapointing lack of interest in all three categories is
nothing but economics. The bottom line is there are not enough bucks being
spent by the ferret community to attract the players who typically pay for
the research grants that cure this type of stuff. This isn't new; pets
weren't really expoited for the big bucks until the last couple of decades.
Now, if the disease affected cattle or sheep, it would have been called the
"Mad Adrenal" disease and livestock would have been recalled from pet shops
and people would have stopped eating hamburger. If it affected dogs or
cats, then a serious yet sensitive professor would have been asked to the
Today Show to profess his or hers serious yet sensitive views. But stinky
attack-ferrets are owned by tatooed weirdo nuts who only spend millions
instead of billions on our one-tracked begonia diggers, so there is
absolutely no incentive to exploit the market "at the present time." Need
I say more? Of course!
There are some ways to cure this problem. 1) Start a program to make
ferrets MORE popular than dogs or cats, possibly by expoiting the Bud
commercials. 2) Convince ferret owners to buy cartons of tacky products
with anything even resembling a ferret rubber-stamped on it. 3) Get a
couple hundred internet people to boycott, badger, or belittle the players
to make more monies available. 4) Get all the little clubs to get over
their regional squabbles and ego flailing, band together and form a truely
(Inter) National Ferret Club with enough members and money to carry a
politically big stick. 5) Form your own little club so you have your own
opportunity for regional squabbles and ego flailing. 6) Wait and hope for
the best, while bitching about how unfair things are. 7) Write incredibly
long posts that incite people to riot, while wearing a t-shirt reading
"David Hume and Patrick Henry for President!"
This is America, where the currency says "In God We Trust" on one side and
"but all others pay cash" on the other. If you want the players to take
notice, you have to be noticable. That means money or political power and
usually both. Are we, as ferret owners, capable of such feats? Well, we
beat rabies hysteria, have had most anti-ferret laws changed, and just
recently saved the life of a "child-attacking ferret." Those times we banded
together and chose to ignore our differences, we beat or changed the system.
Then we just drift away to resume regional squabbles and ego flailing. Ever
wonder why you never see a dozen different Audubon Societies, or a half
dozen different Sierra Clubs? Its simply because ten clubs are never as
large as one single, giant, powerful "hit bad guys out of the park" club.
One voice, pooled resources, political strength. I have been asked why *I*
haven't formed a club, and the reason is simple; ferrets DO NOT NEED yet
another personality-based club that only divides and fragments our meager
resources and unity. What they need is all the existing clubs to become a
single strong organization! Its just too bad the clubs won't see the light
(or take the hint) and merge themselves into a single national club with
enough membership and strengh to show the big players we will be still be
around in the twenty years it will take their research money to turn the big
profits so when they die they can have all kinds of stuff for their children
to fight over.
Whatever happens, you can etch this in brass and take bets on it. 1) No
serious money for ferret research will be made available until big business
catches a whiff of profit, 2) No serious advances in ferret diseases such as
adrenal disease will be made until serious research funds are made
available, and 3) No serious political power will be welded by the ferret
community until it speaks with one voice instead of 20. Or 21.
Bob C and 20 MO Silly Snapping FurSnakes
[Posted in FML issue 2238]
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