Hi folks,
 
We was lickin' and bouncin' for all we was worth - tryin' to help Paw Paw
get done with all that work he has to do this weekend - when the doorbell
thingy commenced to jumpin' off the wall.  He looked real mean like, grabbed
his walkin' stick and went to open the door to see who it was that had
interrupted us.  He kept grumblin' about the audacity of somebody botherin'
us when we was tryin' to get done workin' before our big night at the
Olympic Stadium.
 
He flunged the front door open with a growl and that was the last we seen of
him for awhile.  No sooner than the door had opened, Paw Paw was jumped on
and buried by about a hundred ferrets, mooses and dawgs!  Heck, there was
even some unidentified critters in the crowd.  All of them was totin'
covered dishes and bottles of stuff like ferretone and moose juice.  Well,
we all done a double back flip and joined into the hullabaloo.  Yes siree.
Seems like the world had done brung a party to our house!  There were ferts
from England, South Africa, Australia, Istanbul, Canada and Germany!  Gawd
only knows where all the other critters done come from.  Heck, some folks
think that we talks funny.  You shoulda heard this crowd!
 
It turns out that all these nice critters had come to Atlanta to take part
in the first-ever Ferret and Critter competitions to be held at an Olympic
Games.  Wow!  Lots of them had to get back home before their human pets
noticed that they was gone, so they all decided to have a victory party at
our house before the big events.  Sounded like a plan to us.
 
Mee Maw jumped into the truck and headed out for the hawg market so Paw Paw
could make some of his famous barbecue for all of our guests.  That gotted
us to thinkin'.  Where the heck did Paw Paw get to?  We finally convinced
one of the mooses that we don't own a futon and that he was, in fact of a
deed, sittin' on our poor ol' Paw Paw.  Kurt and Amber immediately began
giving the Old Fert mouth-to-mouth resilliation while Cookie and Tater
sneezed in his ears.  He eventually regained what liitle senses he still has
and commenced to build a big fire in the BBQ pit.
 
To make a long ol' story kinda short, we all done had us one heck of a
victory party, before we even competed against each other.  We reckon that
gettin' together like this, without any thoughts of winnin' or loosin', is
what the Olympics is all about.  It sure is nice when folks can come
together and have fun without even thinkin' about their differences.
 
Well, Mee Maw's makin' the rounds right now with big ol' doses of her
elixerated corn squeezin' tonic.  There's a lot of doctorin' to be done.
There sure is a lot of belly-stuffed, partied-out critters layin' all over
the house right now.  The sight of a moose that can't hold his ferretone is
not a pretty sight.  We won't even attempt to describe the condition our Paw
Paw is in.  At least, if we ever gets in that condition, we can told him
that we "learned it from watchin' you."
 
We sure is glad that we got the chance to party with all these neat friends.
Don't worry about the competition none.  Mee Maw is pretty good at doin' her
doctorin'.  She says that everybody will be ready to go when we gets to the
Stadium tonight - even Paw Paw.
 
Joy to the World!!
 
Tater, Odie and Cookie - America's Carrotball Team
 
PS: We's sorry that we couldn't mention the names of everybody who came to
the party.  That would have made this letter so long that Cyber-Fert would
have fussed at us.  We is just glad that everybody came.  Ya'll come back
now, you heah!
[Posted in FML issue 1651]