I've figured out what we can do to resolve the complex, difficult situation
in Iraq.  Let's drop a few thousand Crazed, Noxious, Brain-Eating Ferrets on
the presidential palaces and other sites.
 
Can't you imagine thousands of ferrets in military fatigues swinging down
below little parachutes, tiny feet poised to run to hidden entrances?
They'd go in and chew up some humans (as we all know ferrets will), then
cart off the alleged weapons and store them in some unknown, inaccessible
cache.
 
I need to write to Secretaries Albright and Cohen on this.  If they need
convincing of the abilities of ferrets to do the job, we can direct them to
the California Department of Health and the Kalamazoo City Council, who know
how dangerous ferrets are (right up there with bears and alligators).
 
Todd Cromwell III, Dors and Seldon, WA State
[Posted in FML issue 2221]