Hello there,
 
This is Paw Paw and I'm feeling really grumpy tonight.  Mee Maw set me off
when she came home and demanded that I give up the big pooter right in the
middle of writing a PML.  That's OK.  I'm used to her abuse ::-) I settled
down in my chair and began reading today's mail and FML.  I was already in a
bad mood when I ran across something that has been sticking in my craw ever
since I subscribed to the Internet and FML.  Everytime I see the expression
it feels like I be done ate a June Bug without snatching its feets off
first.  Anyone who has had a similar experience knows just how uncomfortable
it feels to have one of them things scratching around in your innards.
 
The expression I'm referring to is SO.  Now I've been to college, majored in
Psychology and Philosophy, so I know that SO means Significant Other.  I
even wore my collar turned around backwards for a few years and tried to
save a soul or two.  Thank God I finally saw the light and decided to become
an Electrician - an honorable profession.
 
Ruh Roh!  Major ramble coming on.  Skip to the next letter if you want to
avoid it.  While I was a student at Georgia State College, I had the
priviledge of sharing a few psychology classes with a retired wrestler who
went by the name of Man Mountain Dean.  I never will forget the night that
he stuck up a hand the size of a Virginia ham and said, "Heck, Doc, all this
stuff you're teachin' us ain't nothin' but common sense and decency!" I have
never forgotten the wisdom of his words.  i seriously doubt that the
professor and my classmates have forgotten them either.  His statement made
too much sense to forget.
 
Back to my problem with the term SO.  My first reaction was to say SO WHAT?
Then I realized that people were using the term to refer to folks they were
involved with.  Hello?  Did I really say that?  Whatever happened to love,
to commitment, to devotion?  Have we become so caught up in the ME FIRST
movement, in taking care of NUMBER ONE that we are afraid to say how much
another person might mean to us?  Are we so ashamed to say the words
Husband, Wife, Lover, Boyfriend, Girlfriend and Friend that we have to
resort to the false sense of aloneness expressed in terms such as
Significant Other?  Beam me up Lord!  I'm ready to leave.
 
I sincerely pray that no one on this list is a ferret lover because they are
afraid to commit themselves to another person and say 'I love you'.  Ferrets
and other pets are safe.  They don't talk back and make no demands upon us
that threaten our isolationism.  Why are we so afraid to love and be loved
that we have to refer to each other as 'Others', significant or not?
Please, Great Father Chief, strike us all down with lightning and bring us
back together.  Take the fear of togetherness away from us.
 
So much for my tirade.  Thanks for letting an old man have his say.  Mee Maw
and I will celebrate 33 years of marriage next month.  We have always been
significant to each other but niether one of us has ever been the 'other'.
We have always been one spirit, one flesh, distinct individuals - but one
just the same.  Perhaps we are throwbacks to a forgotten time.  If so, we
are content in being who we are.  We will curl up in the bed tonight with
two 'significant' ferrets and we shall enjoy the love we share together.
 
Thanks, again, for letting me have my say and blow off some steam.  I'm
sorry, BIG,if I have stepped beyond the boundaries of FML protocol.  YOu may
reject this post if you wish.  I feel much better now that I have had my
say.
 
Paw Paw (Whew! Glad I got that out of my system.)
 
Mee Maw (Get off my pooter and come to bed you Significant Stud
Muffin.)
Odie (What was all that about??)
Tater (You'll get used to it. He's kinda wierd but he's sweet.)
Thor (Can the guys come out to play??)
[Posted in FML issue 1522]