Hey Everyone,
 
Well, me and the fuzzbutts are settling in nicely.  I finally found a way to
ferret proof the house and so now have 17 maniacs wondering around the house
(Pookie bear and Nicky stay seperate), destroying everything in sight and
pooping in all the new places!  Tales are bottle-brushed and dooks can be
heard everywhere.
 
We are still freezing to death here!  There have been driver's advisories
and snow several times.  I know I wanted cold weather, but not this much
this quick!
 
And for a place that is supposed to be a FFZ, there are ferret supplies
everywhere.  I will have less problem finding the farts things than when I
lived in Houston.  Even Home Depot (lumber yard etc) has ferret supplies.
Go figure.
 
And yes, I have spotted the elusive mustelid, major anus painus bobius.  His
main habitat seems to be found in and around books, copying machines, and
alcoholic beverages.  He is often seen making off with a 2 foot stack of
books, carrying them to his favorite place of hiding, the photocopier.  The
winter coat of this mustelid is a smooth light brown leather affair with
denim on the lower appendages.  Boots or sneakers protect the feet.  Head is
kept warm with an ever changing series of ugly, dirty baseball caps from
some team in Ca-Ca land.  This mustelid's favorite mode of transportation is
2 wheeled and self powered.  When he travels this way he can be seen with a
long ponytail streaming out from under said headgear.
 
I must caution any would be major anus painus bobius spotters, do not, I
repeat, do not let this mustelid within hearing distance.  You may think
hearing his call would be fun, but it isn't.  The call consists of repeated
bad puns, verbal attacks on some gestapo like life forms, and will sometimes
even include minor verbal attacks on the spotter.  And once he starts his
call, you cannot escape or silence him.  So I urge you, if this mustelid
gets within 6 feet of you, run for your sanity!
 
It is an elusive life form, but I am endeavoring to capture a photograph of
it cuddling one of its children, Pookie Bear.  I will let you know if I am
successful.
 
Mo' Maggie and the 19 mid-missourian mustelids
[Posted in FML issue 1754]