T'was the day after Christmas and all through the store
people were hopping to great sales galore
All the items were hung on the store racks with care
in hopes that, with discount, they soon won't be there
The children were there all running around
looking for the new puppy or kitten they found
the certificate for, right under the tree
bought by mum, dad, aunt or grammy
And I in my store vest, and Kate on the floor,
had just started our shift at JumboPet Store.
When out in the store there arose such a clatter
Kate and I knew we had to get to the matter.
Away to the front I ran with a dash,
tore across the floor to see the front cash.
The milling of crowds around poor old Joe,
gave the look of a mob about to let go.
And what to my wondering eyes should appear?
All the pets we sold in the last month of the year.
Each purchaser wanted to return and refund
Get their money back, drop off 'Fluffy', and run.
More rapid than eagles they filled up the cue,
with parrots, puppies, kittens all new.
Daxies and dobers, persians and sphinx,
Amazons, angoras, rexes and minx!
To the front of the store, they gave their call
to cash away, stash away, dash away all.
As Joe explained our livestock law, he found
so met with that obsticle, they went to the pound.
So many just, without narry a thought,
a cute little animal present had bought.
As I went back to the section marked "Small animal & bird"
Down the aisle the screaming of kids was heard.
And not just the kids, but the grown up folks too,
these were sensible folks, who 'knew what to do',
not for them was an animal "brought by Saint Nick"
but they 'responsibly' bought it after right quick
Their eyes, how they gleamed, their faces how harried
Their hair was all mussed, they smelt of old sherry
Each held a certificate, wrapped in a bow,
many which I had sold Christmas Eve, without know.
The stamping along the floor as they looked
rattled each cage and toppled the books.
Each plump little banshee, their sweet girls and boys
were handling the lizards and turtles like toys
The poor little creatures, when faced with these elves
would bite or piddle, in spite of themselves.
And a flick of the wrist and a turn of the head
dropped the beast to the floor, which was my first dread.
They screamed at the top of their lungs as they saw
the perfect 'pet gift' of chin or macaw.
And putting ther fingers right up their nose
when seeing a puppy, this tumult rose.
I sprang to the cash and the PA turned on,
said "No sales today," to the rackus throng.
And they heard me exclaim, as I shook my head,
"Do you research, then adopt one instead."
A little addendum to Clement Clarke Moore
Please don't buy a holiday pet at my store.
Please wait, and research, and do what's right
Then we'll have a Happy Christmas, and all a Good Night.
[Posted in FML issue 3643]
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