Dear Shirley and Sukie hoomins-

This is Ping is He.

Let me give you the low-down on ferrets and darkness. Here's what you
want to do. First thing, is to get out of your soft beds and let me
sleep in them whenever I want, for as long as I want.It doesn't matter
if you leave the lights on or not, Scientists have proven that it's
very dark under the covers. It would be nice if you lay down in them
and warmed the beds up for me, first. Now, if you could throw in a
handfull of wasabi peas before you climb out, that would be ideal
because I produce more melatonin on a full stomach. (Didn't know that,
did you?) If you don't have wasabi peas, roast chicken bones and ham
wrappers are good. The really wet, drippy ones loaded with salty goo
are my favourite. I also love that little plastic spice pack that comes
with the ham, the one with the brown sugar and cloves. Brown sugar is
very good for my pituitary, also dark chocolate truffles.

Now, I don't have any gonads anymore. (You hoomins-such kidders!) But
you could make it up to me by leaving a little saucer of root beer
underneath the bed.

Thank you,
P is H.

[Posted in FML 5396]