Okay, this is going to now be too large and too experimental, but so many
things improve over time, and the discussion of pain control in ferrets has
recently come up.  Perhaps this will be future option in a modified form so
click below to read about a new surgical pain control approach:
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/1999/08/990819065914.htm
 
Other topic: I suspect that a lot of the money aspect began because people
who already do so much were insulted by a post which expected them to do
more instead of sharing the burden and the direction spun off.
 
I think that some of the arguing is happening because folks forget that
we all have different life experiences.  In our case I did get hurt when
people assumed that because we have money to fall back on that we have a
high income.  We have money to fall back on because we PINCH PENNIES.
Steve and I both had some times when we were growing up when things were
tight (like the first 13 years of my life and his first 8 or so).  Later I
lived modestly starting out and then in a tight state while Mom was dying
to prevent bankruptcy, then down-right poorly while putting myself through
school.  Steve covered part of the cost of his undergraduate studies and
all his graduate studies.  When we first finished school I spend way, way
too much so we began a weekly budget book (which we still do), and later we
eliminated money guilt trips by instituting a private fun money amount of
1% of the after-tax total income for each of us; these being totally
independent so the other can NOT say a word about how or when they are used
(prevents fights, eliminates guilt, adds happiness).  We paid off our
mortgage early to save interest costs because we have to save more for
later use by both sets of parents since we expect we'll likely have to
support all after a while given the rest of the family in our generation
(blood and step) hasn't saved, and because we've had to help with some
younger relations when their own folks hadn't saved.  What all this means
is that we live exceedingly modestly.  We aren't rich, but we are careful:
tiny condo, old carpet (Boy, do we ever need a new one but that's fine.), a
lot of home-built furniture which we slowly are replacing, mostly sale
clothing, reuses of things, etc.
 
I don't get upset when people who don't have money, but manage to do
whatever they need to do to provide care, have ferrets -- even a lot; they
have found their own ways to fulfill responsibilities.
 
I do get a bit upset when people ASSUME that we must live high on the hog
simply because we do put a lot of cash into our pets.  We had a trip this
year -- actually took a vacation -- but it was in the U.S.  and we kept
costs down, and it was short, and it's the first in a while.
 
Know when I DO get upset?
1. When people ASSUME that they know what others' lives must be like, or
 
2. as happened last year -- not you, M.  since your life was modest and
responsible -- when someone asks me for money to help with an emergency
surgery and then the person turns around in a few months and travels to a
different continent for a few weeks.  I haven't sent a dime in that
direction since even though the person and I know each other well, and I
won't be sending any in the future.  Hey, Steve and I HOPE to be able to
finally see one of the European nations in part for a short time later this
year and are saving toward it, but if it doesn't fit in the budget then it
will likely just wait for after I'm 50 next year.  That's when I get upset:
when someone has trips, or fancy things, or a big home but the ferrets get
cheated.  That IS upsetting, at least to me.  We'd like to have those
things, too, and sure it makes us a touch jealous, but we have set the
family (both four and two footed) as a higher priority.  That's not being
high and mighty or better than thou; it's just adjusting expenses according
to our own priorities.  It bugs me, therefore, when a few people who have
so much later moan and plead that their money is all spent.  'Nough said on
THAT!
 
Okay, one other things upsets me at times (but doesn't make me angry --
scares me, really worries me): when people set themselves up to have
problems down the line.  Still I know that some of that is simply a case of
needing the information (and sometimes also the experience) to have a
fuller grasp of what can happen -- a learning opportunity.  Remember the
quote which describes all our lives in _Paper Chase_: "Good judgement comes
from experience, which comes from bad judgement".
[Posted in FML issue 2778]