In my time, I have had and do have some really swift and fast running
ferrets.  These speedy creatures are usuallly whippet jills -- those little
girls can really fly.  The Princess Tiger Lilly, in mid life, is still one
of the fastest ferrets in the land.  However, even Her Grace pales beside
some of my little black devils - especially Jussy and those related to her.
These Houdini ferrets can flash out of a room before you can close the door
and they do it without being seen - and they are off and running, flat out
and action blurred.  They reserve these antics, in particular, for
exceptionally special times like when you are leaving the house and are LATE!
 
Now comes Black Magic, a young stud muffin, who is not a whippet and who is
not small but ranks among the fastest and most agile of ferrets I have ever
been annoyed by.  For a hob, I have never seen his match -- not even my wild
and crazy blaze boys or my crafty Canadians.  He defeats my expert tactics
at getting out of a room and leaving the ferrets in that room.  I Don't Even
See Him Leave.  He is a black blur.
 
And this morning.......Ready to leave for work, I picked up my things,
carefully checked the vicinity and found no ferrets by the door.  I swiftly
opened the door, slipped out and firmly shut it.  Turned around in time to
see a brushed black tail disappear around the corner in the hall.  "No, no,
please no God, don't let that be Magic, I don't have time for this!" I
quickly set down my things and set out in pursuit.  He taunted me, dancing
close enough for me to make a grab for him and then my hands would close on
air.  He would already be in the next room.  I thought he was in the foyer
and heard rustling in the kitchen.  Arrived to find PineFresh litter pellets
decorating the floor and and the evil doer was already gone.  Heard a noise
in the foyer again, but a flash of black was all there was.  Down the hall I
ran and heard scrabbling in the living room.  Arrived to find......"Oh no,
not the Norfolk Pine!" Big pot on it's side and all the dirt out in "what -
10 seconds!?!  - how did he do that?"
 
I'm not a poet so bear with me please, this particular ferret is really a
tease.  No time for the poor pine, I started to whine.  "Please come here
Magic, I've got to go, I'm late and out of time!" I thought I heard a
snicker in his happy dooks.  If I could only get near that devil would he
get evil looks!  I chased him round the sofa and back behind the chair.
However, when I got to the chair, he was near the stair.  Round the house he
ran reaching speeds that made him blur.  "Come here now Black Magic, you
retched cur!" He danced away and went to warp speed.  And then he was gone,
surely a devious deed.  My alien ferret had, or so it seemed, returned to
outer space from whence his forebears to earth had beamed.  I searched for
him in vain.  My Black Magic, so aptly named.
 
Worried now, I tore through the house - not like him to go to ground.  That
darned ferret is part grey hound!  His battery pack never runs down and his
off button never has been found.  I searched the rooms and closets too, and
then, suddenly, out from under the stereo he flew!  I chased him some more,
a fruitless endeavor - no catching him until half-past whenever.  And then I
had a sudden brain storm.  "Gad, I thought, I am really not in form" I
suddenly just knew - exactly what to do.  After all he is still a ferret and
a hob at that - I clung to that hope hope for my very next tact.
 
I fetched a jill for very good reason - for she has just been brought out of
season.  I sat on the floor with Katy on my knee and thought to my self "Now
my fine fellow, we shall see".  Sure enough in amazing short time - Magic
materialized and in my lap he did climb!  Dooking away he made a grab for
the lady -- but mama was faster and said "Gotcha Baby!" It's not often I win
so was feeling pretty good, returned him to the room, closed the door, and
turned around -- and there he stood!  And then he was gone heading toward
the liiving room -- and I swear to you all, I felt a sonic boom!  It was a
while before I captured him again.  And when I did I thanked God - Amen.
 
       Cheers, Meg
[Posted in FML issue 1747]