When a household includes ferrets, definitions expand accordingly.  For
example:
 
Moderation: "No!  You can *not* have the entire bag of raisins...only HALF!"
 
Restraint: "But Honey...they aren't hurting the television...let them play
up there a little while longer!"
 
Scheduled feedings: "Yes Master Ferret, I'm coming right away with your
food!"
 
Going for a walk:  "Come *on* Bubba...we are all walking *this* way!
Please?  Pretty Please?  Ok, I'll carry you some more..."
 
Cleaning the house: "No!  Don't drag that back out!  I'm cleaning here!
Wait...your litter box!  What about trying your litter box just *once*?"
 
Closed Door: Wait...those aren't allowed...next?
 
Panty Hose: Not while a ferret it out and about!
 
House Plants: Yeah...right...
 
Toys: Eh heh...what isn't?
 
Cats: Self-Propelled Ferret Toys
 
Freshly-made Bed: Ferret Tunnel Freeway
 
Bath Soap: Chew Toy
 
Trash Can: Playground
 
Sand Box: Heaven
 
Toes: The enemy
 
Sleeping Human:  Something to be investigated, walked on and ear-cleaned.
 
Putting Away Groceries: Well, it depends on who/what gets to them first,
as to where they are put away now, doesn't it?
 
"Used" Diapers: Ferret Magnets
 
Lip Stick: Ferret tootsie-rolls
 
Remote Controls: Chew Toys
 
Cordless Phones: Chew Toys
 
Pens and Pencils: Chew Toys
 
Wallets and keys: Items to be stashed.
 
Bag of Potting Soil: heheheh!
 
Pots and Pans: Musical Instruments
 
Todd and the (Webster's) Fuzzbutt Rodeo Clowns!
 
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[Posted in FML issue 2787]