>From:    Barbara Carlson <[log in to unmask]>
>But I want to know ... why do they (i.e. demons) only transport these
>individuals *up* to the top of the cage but not down again?
>--Barb--
 
Dear Barb,
 
I don't know the answer to this, but my naughtiest ferret, little Lilly the
Mitt, says SHE does.  Considering her resemblance, in more ways than one,
to the popular notion of a demon and the fact that she keeps knocking the
Bible off the bookshelf and appears to be reading it, I tend to believe
she's familiar with both sides of the story.  Here's her theory in her own
words (BEWARE - Ferretwrite follows):
 
Wey wey bak in de oldie daze, der wuz dis big Badguy cald De Debil.  (Sum
peeples cald him Lucy Fur, butt dat don mak no cens onaccounta dats a gurl
name an De Debil am a boy fer shur.)  De Debil wuz a reely uglee guy who
cum frum a plase wit no aircondishuners so he wuz alla time kranky, an he
had big skratchey blak wings an pointee eers an a tale an sharp clause an
toofies...wade aminite, dat souns like me, cept' I gots no wings an Im
kute.  Anyweys, he wuz sooper-uglee, tak my wurd ferit, an he wuz papa to a
buncha babee debils who wuz awmost as uglee as he wuz an allso cud run
faster.  De Debil wuz makin' trubble rite frum da gitgo, peetendin' to be a
snaak an messin 'round wit froot...wade aminite, dat souns like me agin.
 
Anyweys, De Debil wuz allweys playin' triks on peeples so's he cud feel
like he wuz da bossa everting, an he pritty much got awey wit it, til he
desided to pik on dis reely nise guy cald Geesus.  De Debil piks Geesus
rite up by da scruffa his nek, an plunks him down onna hi plase, an tells
Geesus dat he kin hav everting he sees cludin' all da grapes in de wurl
to mak raysons outta, if ony Geesus sez dat De Debil am da reel bossa
everting.  Well, Geesus is wizer dan de averidge hooman bean, an he sez to
De Debil to git outta his fase an tak his sower ol' grapes wid him.  So De
Debil phlaps off inna big huff, an Geesus is stuk up dere on da hi plase an
iffen he trys to clime down maybee he mite fall on his noze an bump it like
I did wonce wen I wuz stuk up ontoppa my cage.  Butt den sum anjells flu
down frum hevin, wich is a reel pritty plase fulla raysons an potted plants
an skweeky toyz.  Anjells is reel pritty allso, sorta like albinoze wit sof
wite wings, an dey pikked Geesus up an kuddled him in der wings an put him
down gentlee onna grond, an gav him lotsa watter wit icekubes init an alla
raysons he cud eet.  So dat ternd out OK.
 
De morale of da storee is dat debils git you inta messes reel eesy, butt
dey ain so gud at gittin you bak out agin.  Fer dat you gotta hav anjells,
an if you don got no anjells at yer house, you gotta hav nise hooman beans
to waach out fer you.
 
Dat's all,
Lilly da Mitt
[Posted in FML issue 2708]