My ferrets have a monkey on their backs....namely, red licorice.
 
My ferrets know that strawberry licorice has historically been stored in a
specific refrigerator compartment, and come running everytime I slide open
the pertinent drawer.  At such times, they gaze up at me with rapt
adoration....and in the past my stroked ego often overcame my willpower and
I gave in.  Then I read a very forceful article emphasizing that a surfeit
of licorice and other such treats was definitely not-a-good-thing, so I cut
them off "in their own best interests" (you know how well THAT line of
reasoning goes over with a ferret!), and gave them Furrovite instead.  But,
as much as they adore Furrovite, they never forgot their first love and
continued to dash up and do the soulful schtick whenever that fridge drawer
was opened....
 
So I confess, I finally broke down this last weekend, and cut an elderly
leftover stick of licorice into small bits and gave each ferret one.  They
ran off, each to his/her own hidey-hole (or so I thought).  About an hour
later, I spotted a small pinkish pool of ?  in the kitchen.  I performed a
group bottom-check, and found my gib with red/pink dampness on his lower
front fifth.  I inspected his little "engine of regeneration" for injuries,
but saw nothing amiss until I gently squeezed him and a tiny drop of pink
appeared at the tip.  Oh dear God, he has an internal injury!  What Shall I
Do???  On the brink of plunging into a full-fledged panic attack (I seem
to have them so often since becoming a ferret owner), I glanced at the
ferrets' gravy bowl/water dish, and saw that it was filled with bright pink
water....from four little bleached-out licorice snips at the bottom.  They
had dunked their old-cold treats into the bowl to soften them up (I guess)
and my gib apparently had drunk most of the water.  I checked up on him all
through the night, just in case, and there was no further pink pee.
 
But...NO MORE LICORICE!  And I MEAN it this time.
[Posted in FML issue 2455]