.  .  .  Hi!  This is Rascal, coming to you live from Montgomery County,
MD.  I have some problems concerning my pet human, Carinne.  Ya see, first
she cleaned out my ears, clipped my toenails (all twenty of them!!), gave me
a bath, brushed my still-intact winter coat, sprayed me with this
disgusting-smelling liquid called "Conditioner", and took me for a walk!!
She treated me like a poster ferret for about twenty billion people (and I
tell you .  .  .  some humans asked if I was a retarded cat or some exotic
type of snake!!  Sheesh!), and I had all these hands carefully pettong me
and stroking my fur as Carinne held my mouth shut!  And I don't even bite!
If things weren't bad enough, she bought me this blue collar (I think it's
blue -- I can't tell really because I think I'm colorblind :) ) with this
bell, so now wherever I go, this ^%*@*$^ bell rings with me!!  I try to bite
it, but it's like trying to chew on your own ears .  .  .  it just doesn't
work too nicely.  Well, I gotta go!!
 
                                -- Rascal (and her pet human, Carinne :) )
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[Posted in FML issue 1209]