Well now, I'm titillatingly delighted by the erudite commentary of Messers.
Bostrom and Janke, the two Michaels.  Ref.  Ferret List Digest #2264 0331
to 040198.  They have also attempted to hypothesize their observations of
ferret response to certain sounds (auditory stimulations).  Great.
 
Just so we're on the same page here, please let me define the subtle
difference that I see between a hypothesis and a theory, to wit: when I
hypothesize, I give a description of what I see, and following that factual
presentation, I give and I seek from whomever a discussion from them the
many and possible reasons for the actions observed.  No explanation is
offered in an hypothesis.
 
When I theorize, I attempt to offer the ONE most plausible and simplest
possible explanation for the hypothesis that I've presented.  So it seems
that after many, many observations the tendency is to offer an explanation
for the observations, and thus a theory is "invented." Obviously, the
hypothesis comes before the theory.  One cannot explain the reason for
something without basic data.
 
Theories are not facts.  Theories are the most plausible explanations that
are designed to be tested and should be tested anytime and everytime new
hypotheses are made known, and in the event the theory is holed (found
faulty) by the discovery of new observations, it then reverts to a
hypothesis again.  Does it not?
 
Theories that can be maintained in the face of new factual observations, on
the other hand, serve to reinforce the potential validity of the offered
theory and bolster the strength of that theory.  And, therefore, theories
that stand scruinty over time evolve into something (?), an assumption,
just short of factual.
 
But, to get back to the responses of some ferrets to sounds, to certain
sounds above others, to look closely at the auditory responses of some
ferrets, is the primary concern I address here.  I am delighted to read
Messers.  " the dual Michaels" postings and in particular to the clever
acronym invented for the Ferret Infant Response Syndrome: FIRS.  I should
like to delve into this derivation just a little bit further, since ferrets
do respond to sounds other than infant cries: sounds, that to us may sound
like infant cries, but in fact are not, as the dual Michaels have
suggested.
 
For example, I should like to offer instead of the word "Infant" the word
"Auditory." Also since not all ferrets necessarily offer a confirmed
response to an auditory stimulus, may I suggest the word "tendency." That
is, some do and some don't respond, assuming they all are hearing
unimpaired.
 
If we put all this together, I should like to suggest that the economical
(but limited) acronym FIRS be abandoned for the more definitive verbiage:
Ferret Auditory Response Tendency Syndrome.  If we submit this verbiage to
acronymises, we arrive at the acronym, F A R T S.  Oh dear - what have I
done?
 
Now we have an acronym that has onomatopoeia, or more nearly so than FIRS.
Does not F A R T S suggest acoustic energy, a sound of sorts?  Surely you
must agree it does.  However, we must guard against relating F A R T S to
any olfactory(sniff sniff) perceptions, as some may want to do.
 
Our org here Ferrets NorthWest, a ferret endowment, among other things, is
dedicated to research, as well as rehabilitation, education & training, a
society of sorts.  Hence, the pursuit of F A R T S will henceforth receive
a heightened priority in the Ferret Frolics/Olympics.  We will test any and
all ferrets submitted by their owners at the next olympics (last Sunday in
June) in the newly coined olympic event F A R T S.  The first three place
winners will receive a Certificate of Ferret Merit with their ferret's
specialty clearly defined on the Ferret Merit Certificate.
 
This will be accomplished by the sounding of a screaming rabbit call,
immediately behind the owner with his totally becalmed ferret in his arms.
The response of the ferret will be intensely monitored, not only by the
ferret's total bodily reaction, but also by measuring and recording the
ferret's heart rate immediately prior to and following Der
Frettchenlustbarkeitsfuerher's sounding one or more of his several wildlife
predator calls.  The ferret is to be becalmed immediately following its
stimulation and heart rate monitoring (stethoscope) by offerings of tasty
tidbits (i.e. Ferretone or equivalent).  We hope to have one of the West's
outstanding ferret veterinarians officiating at this endeavor: namely
Doctor Skip Nelson of the Exotic Bird and Pet Clinic, along with his
stethoscope, assuming he'll accept our invitation.  Is this science or
what?
 
Ferret Endowment for Research, Rehabilitation, Education & Training
Society, NorthWest, aka
F E R R E T S NW.  Edw Lipinski, Der Frettchenlustbarkeitsfuerher, wer
vor Fruede jauchztet:
"Frettcen Vergnuegen!"  [G.] EL, the ferret frolics leader, who shouts
joyfully: "Ferrets are Joyful!"
[Posted in FML issue 2268]