Hello All,

It is with a heavy heart and tears in my eyes that I write this. Itachi
is still hanging in, but I don't foresee a good outcome to her current
issues. She has swollen up so much around her hindquarters that she is
barely unable to walk, especially since we have hardwood floors and it
has always been harder for her to get traction. Her back legs just
splay out from the weight and she does most of her "walking" with her
front legs. Her tummy is very firm to the touch, with a harder mass
inside. The swelling has gotten bad enough that it reaches all the way
to her front shoulders - she looks normal from there to her head, but
at her nekkid lil butt, she is almost 3 times as wide... She barely
moves around, even when she is in her cage, where she has soft bedding
to make it easier to walk. Right now, we take her out of her cage in
the morning and place her in her favorite nest, where she sleeps, with
an occasional trip to the kitchen for food, drink, and piddles. she
can't even lift her hindquarters enough to keep clean, so we follow
her and wipe her tush for her. There is a look in her eyes that I know
too well - the almost-shame at the indignities that her body is
forcing on her. I've lived it myself with my many medical issues and
hospitalizations, it kills me to see the same expression in her face.

In about a week, we will have the money to take her to the vet, where
we pray that there is something that can be done, but we aren't
confident that is true. We have ruled out a surgical fix, since she is
almost 7 and there is a very good chance she could die on the table.
Unless the vet says there is something non-invasive that might fix
the issue, we have decided to let her go. Right now, her spirit seems
strong, but her body is failing fast. I've told my family that if I
were in the same situation, not to do anything heroic to save my life -
I can't in good conscience do to her what I wouldn't even choose for
myself. I wish there was a way to get her in to the vet sooner, but our
school monies don't arrive until the first of the year. We aren't even
able to take my daughter to the doc right now due to this. :( But as
soon as we are able, Itachi will see the vet in Indy. Please keep her
in your prayers that she stays comfortable and enjoys these last few
days with us.

I feel like a horrid mommy right now, because I almost wish she would
pass in her sleep, just so I know I'm not stealing time from her that
she could enjoy, but she barely seems to be tolerating the existence
she has. We have set up a "hospice" area for her, with blankets down,
so she can walk easier. We also placed her food and water right next
to her nest, and gave her a puppy pad, which she uses in her cage. She
also gets her soup several times a day. Right now, she has about 3
square feet that is designed to be as comfortable as possible for her.
If I could find anything else to make it better for her, I would. We
are out of school for the winter break, so her comfort has become our
first priority.

Thankfully, there is a pet funeral home down in Indy (about 45 miles
from here) that does cremations. Since we are not settled and I can't
bear the thought of leaving her behind when we move, we have decided to
see if they will allow us to pre-pay for services (still praying HARD
that Itachi lives a much longer life!!), so she can always be with us.

Thank you for your prayers and advice, we just need a little bit more.

Rose

[Posted in FML 7281]