Hi all.  I just felt that I had to add a piece regarding some hurt
feelings, misunderstandings, etc - out here in our ferret family.  For
"not hurting someone's feeling purposes - I will just say "FMLer #1,
and FmLer #2.
 
Ok - for the past couple days I noticed that Fmler #1 and FMler #2 were
having a bit of a hard time with understanding/misunderstanding each
other.  I would like to offer some quick, advice.  And before I do -
please remember you don't have to agree with me.  At times, (though not
many) I have been wrong......*giggles*.
 
So here we go - FMler#1, you mention in your response to FMLer #2 that
you would like the "bashing" to stop - and that FML is "hurting enough".
And that may be true - but re-read your post.  You suggested going
private with FMler #2 - but then went on to type 30 lines or so more -
here, not privately - responding to someone that you are asking to "not
respond" to you.  You finished up with asking Bill, to "help" you, by
keeping the "slams!" away.  While I understand why you did that - I
believe (and it is only an opinion here, ok?) that isn't too fair to
Bill - when in a sense, you yourself here, are responding in anger, or
hurt feelings - and thereby keeping this going yourself.  I know it
is hard to remember that Bill DOES have a life beyond here, and is it
really fair to ask him to clean up after us?  I don't think so.
 
Before I go further, I will state right now - that I make mistakes too.
I say things "wrong", etc.  I can only hope that if I offend anyone -
that they try to step back and assess the situation, before jumpin in on
the band wagon, ya know?  And if that fails, then I hope they will accept
my apologies for hurting them.  I'm no saint.  I'm no "fixer" of all.  I
realize that.  I think that right now - we're running on good ole hurt
feelings - and public "humiliation", if you will.
 
See - the way I see it - is when someone "baps" someone in public,
the first emotion is outrage, followed up with a shot of good ole
"embarassment".  "How could you say that about me in public", etc..
Then - that is followed by the wonderful emotion of feeling that we now
have to "explain" ourselves, to everyone here, just to make sure people
"know the truth about me" - except the one thing that ya'll seem to
forget is that is that we already DO know who you are, and like you just
fine.  Just because someone "baps" ya one every once in a while - that
doesn't mean - that WE have to believe everything we hear right?.  You
don't have to justify yourself to me, or anyone out on the FML at all.
I know from experience, that no one can make us feel inferior, or angry,
or happy - unless WE ALLOW them to.  There in a sense, is your answer.
Your allowing yourselves to get upset by either mis-understanding what
was said/written, or the opposite - understanding it quite well BUT then
DEALING with it in a way - that resembles the energizer bunny......it
keeps going and going and going..... - til someone either gets hurt
enough to leave, or smart enough to say: ENOUGH.
 
It was also mentioned that folks were leaving the FML and some of those
folks, had some pretty powerful info to share with us.  Now again - that
was THEIR choice to leave.  We didn't force them out - they chose to go.
Yes, it hurts us a bit - but we are always finding wonderful new people
here - with awesome new information.  Let's not lose sight as to why we
are here.  It isn't to air dirty laundery, it isn't to "fight' with
others - it is the FERRETS that guide us here, and it is the FERRETS that
keep us here.  Mine chain my butt to my puter at home, and jump up on
my lap and demand that I read the entire post to them, before they will
unchain me!!!
 
Where am I goin with all this?  It is our love of the furry little
itty-bitty's who somehow weedle their way into all of our hearts.  And it
is THEY who make US the special hoomans we are.  We all love our ferts -
and we know that everyone here, has something important to share.  It is
my opinion both FMLer #1 & FMLer #2 - are some pretty fab folks - with
oodles and oodles of info to share.  FMLer #1 - you have helped me in so
many situations I couldn't even begin to list em all here.  I'd take up
all the space!!  FMLer#2 - you are wonderful ferret hooman - and you too -
have so much to share - and I know that somehow - when you guys work
through this - all will be good again!!!
 
In closing - I want to impart just one last thing.  Misunderstandings
will always happen.  And not just in this forum, but in our every day
lives as well.  And on e way or another - someone is going to get hurt
feelings, or angry, or whatever.  That's just life.  But if we can
learn - how to deal these situations in a positive fashion, instead of
negative - then we ALL will always win, right???
 
Now then.  Let's get back to ferret-bizness ok?
 
[KM]
[Posted in FML issue 5169]