Edw: Upon direct questioning of the public information rep at the U of WA
med school the answer I got to my questions of how ferrets are used was
this:
 
1.) Ferrets are anesthetized and are used to train surgical nurses in
sliding a curved plastic tube down their throats and into their trachea.
This is done to give the nurse a basic "feel" for manipulating the tube
so that when the requirement exists to accomplish "intubation" of a wee,
tiny infant, their previous practice on the ferret can then benefit the
infant, insofar that the tube is not forced erronously into the esophagus
rather than down the windpipe.
 
2.) Living ferret heart tissue is a test bed for evaluating various
substances reactions to and on the living heart muscle inside as well as
outside the ferret's body.
 
Query: How many times could the same ferret be used by the same or a
different student nurse?  Obviously the heart experimentation is fatal,
perhaps sooner rather than later.
 
Ans: I did not get an answer to that question, but I assume that the
frequency of anesthesia would limit the repeated use of the same ferret,
providing, of course, that its throat was not scaped or traumatized.  And
who would make this decision is unknown.
 
Query: Suppose the ferret could be used for at least two tracheal
insertions in as many days, what happens to the ferret after the second
nurse accomplishes her insertion?
 
Ans: Well, my answer is in the form of a question to you, namely where do
you think they get the living heart tissue for their substance(s)
evaluations?  Seems to me that it would be the height of waste to just
kill the ferret and not use its heart (or other organs).
 
Query: Why don't they use dogs, cats, rabbits or pigs instead of using
ferrets?
 
Ans: My thought is this: Too many people have empathy for the better
known companion animals and the general opinion of using a relatively
unknown "consumable" such as a ferret does not upset the general public
as much as the use of the better known "pets".  Have you never been
asked, "What kind of rodent (rat) is that you have there on a leash?"
"Oh, don't they bite, scratch and stink?"
 
Query: I assume ferrets are less expensive than most of the other larger
consumables; are they?
 
Ans: Not in the pet stores they aren't.  But the institutional purchases
of uniform, nearly clone-like, identical baby ferrets when purchased in
numbers is most likely quite cheap compared to the same sourced ferrets
in the pet stores.
 
Query:  Same sourced ferrets - what do you mean?
 
Ans: As many folks already know, Marshall Farms ferrets seem to be the
primary source supply for both institutional ferrets as well as pet
ferrets.  As you may know, Mr. Gilman Marshall is the pioneer in the
commercial rearing of ferrets for use in biomedical research and got his
start many, many years ago.  I suppose he realized after a few years of
"manufacturing desexed consumables" on an honest-to-God actual production
line that he could double or even tripple his income by furnishing about
50 percent of his production-line assembly ferrets to the general public
for sale as "pets."
 
Query: Surely Edward, by now after all these years of research using
ferrets in the institutions of higher learning, there must be many
advances in, ah well .  .  .  whatever?
 
Ans: There is one old timer who's been working with ferrets for as long
as I can remember and his name is Dr. John Gorham.  He's a pioneer in the
use of ferrets in virology research; you know: viruses.  ((End Pt 1))
 
[Part 2]
 
Query:  Is that viruses in humans or in ferrets?
 
Ans: The first order of research is for human benefit.  A lesser order is
for ferrets, if at all.  Unfortunately there's many a miserable ferret
and quite a few dead ones that have suffered from viral disease, the most
well known current malady being the assumed viral disease of Epizootic
Catarrhal Enteritis, ECE or the green slime.
 
Query: You say, "assumed viral disease".  Either it is a virus or it
isn't, isn't it?
 
Ans: Dr. Bruce Williams is working to identify this organism and so far
as I know has linked it to a particle called a coronavirus, although the
exact agent is yet to be ID'd.  The last I heard was that funding for
further research into ECE is lacking and an appeal has been made for
contributions.
 
Query: Have you contributed?
 
Ans: No, I have not contributed and if you want I'll tell you why.
 
Query: OK, why you not contribute?
 
Ans: Let me tell you this one simple historical fact from my own limited
experience, and that is this:
 
Never, ever have I experienced a case of ECE in any of the thousands of
ferrets that have passed through my hands since the year 1981, the year
I started ferret breeding and operating a shelter for ferrets, skunks,
mink and so far, two crows and two magpies.  These ferrets are either
incredibly lucky or there is another factor involved that does not depend
upon being lucky.  And that one simple single factor is their unique diet
of home-made, cooked on the stove, pot-stirred, blender frapped
meat/vegetable soup as the mainstay of their diet.
 
Query: So what does your home-made ferret food have to do with Dr.
William's appeal for contributions?
 
Ans: I will consider making a contribution when, without any doubt, LUMPS
is positively ruled out as being a preventative of ECE in ferrets.
 
Query: What's this "LUMPS"?
 
Ans: Oops, excuse me.  I got ahead of myself.  LUMPS is an acronym for
the name of this home-made, cooked, ferret soup: LUMPS stands for
Lipinski's Ultimate Mustelid Porridge Soup ... and, oh yes, you blend it
at max hi speed (Frappe on my blender) while it's still hot off the stove
and churn it to the smallest particle size possible within the liquid
matrix.  Think of a true colloidal solution since the smallest particle
size offers the largest surface area possible to the enzymic digestion
process within the ferret's 72 inches of intestine.
 
Oh, that remindes me to ask if anyone knows the length of the typical
house cat's intestines from stomach to the colorectal orifice?  Or if
not, anybody got a dead cat locally that they can give me and we can do
a direct measurement?  Hmmm.  I wonder if Sandy Ackerman?
 
In Himmel gibt's kein bier...[G] In heaven this is no beer...
Edward Lipinski, At Peace
 
[Moderator's note: Just a reminder that speculation abounds but hard
facts sometimes aren't as provocative.  BIG]
[Posted in FML issue 3870]