Rather than doing a cute or silly post, I've given this serious
consideration.  Actually, I'd given serious consideration before,
since both my husband and I are into home reno stuff.
 
First off, much of the flooring would be designed with ferrets in mind.
Something like colour chip flooring would be a must: seamless, slightly
textured to allow for traction, easy to whipe clean and not particularly
dig-able.  Of course, under-floor heating would be nice for mom and dad.
A baseboard accent of tile along the bottom of the walls of each room
would make for 'ferret friendly' corners, should they happen to have a
poop mistake, and would also make an interesting design accent.
 
Rather than ferret gates that have to be moved, all areas which may
have to be shut off to ferrets would have slide out panels, hidden by
a latched flap in the walls.  This would be for kitchens, halls, etc.
Any exit door would have at least a small doored hallway or mudroom
leading to it, to help reduce the likelyhood of an escape.
 
Most other rooms in need of proper doors would have two part "barn doors"
to allow for you to check for ferrets before opening them.
 
The main ferret area would be a large sun room, designed to get lots of
light.  Pet resistant screens would allow for air when possible, and the
room would have a seperate heating/cooling system to keep it just right,
and to allow it to get a little cooler than humans would like when the
days grow long.A solar powered air conditioner would be ready for back
up duty, should the housing cooling fail and the ferrets grow hot.  The
room would also have large counters with ferret-proof cupboards, a sink
for washing and grooming ferrets with a detachable hand sprayer, and a
small mini-bar to keep items that may need to be kept cold, such as
medication.An air-tight container will be available to change out litter
pans into.
 
One thing most people will forget about is a formal quarentine area for
ferrets.  In a different part of the house, this small room will have a
smaller set up of the cupboards and sink, though in this case the sink
is as much for washing yourself as the ferrets.  Waterless antibacterial
cleanser will hang on the wall leading out to the main house.  Like the
ferret room, this will have a proper door, to try and reduce cross
contamination issues from sick and new ferrets.
 
Assume the usual plethora of fun things for ferrets to play with, ferret
proofed rooms (especially, in my case, the computer room... all the cords
and towers would be kept in a mostly sealed case along the wall).  A
built in dig box in the ferret room might be nice, as would some tubes
along or through walls.
 
Finally, a few other little touches, like a toilet that automatically and
softly closes their lids when you're done, to prevent ferrets falling in
(yes, they really exist!), sturdy leather upolstered furniture in ferret
areas for durability, and ripply tunnels along the sides of the stairs of
the house (which, actually, would preferably be a one-level ranch, but
just as an example).
 
There!  My ferret home is complete!
 
Mel Smith
[Posted in FML issue 4877]