Condolences to those with lost, sick or angeled trash can topplers...
 
When you don't really need to worry...much!
 
When you hear a occasional squeak and a squeal while several ferts are
playing.  Chances are, the one that started the whole thing is the one
that's squealing the loudest!
 
When you pick up your fert and it just flops there, not moving.  If the
fert is nice and warm, then its probably suffering from SND (Sleeping, Not
Dead) syndrome.  Put a drop of ferretone on your finger and put it right in
front of the fert's nose.  SND will dissolve right before your eyes!
 
When the cordless phone disappears.  In many cases, you are going to have
a version that has a "Page" feature.  Just have someone stand near the
base unit and push the button occasionally until you locate (by sound) the
handset.  Then, retrieve as many other objects from that hidey hole as
possible.
 
When the cat won't come down from the top of the curtain rods.  Your cat
will eventually learn how to either play with the ferrets constructively
(and go to the toy box when the ferrets are finished playing with her), or
how to stay out of the way when the little carpet carnivores are out and
about.
 
When they suddenly leap at the television set, trying to get one of the
people on there.  *You* might think that person is OK, but your ferret
knows different!
 
When there are moving lumps under the blankets of your freshly-made bed.
Its just the mattress straightening itself out and you can go on about
your busyness...uh...I mean *business*! :)
 
You know it's time to worry when...
 
You find the remote, but the buttons have all escaped!
 
You sit down to enjoy your Hershey chocolate bar, but all that's left is
the wrapper!
 
You go to the base unit of the cordless phone to use the Page mode to find
the handset, but find that the phone is in use...and the number being
called is in Bankock, Thailand...and you are the only "human" home!
 
The bank that issued your VISA card calls you to confirm that you are the
one making all the purchases at The Ferret Store on your card...and you
were never aware you even *had* a VISA card!
 
You lay out a very expensive set of clothing to wear to that important
function at work...and when you get out of the shower, there are lumps
moving all through it!
 
You just put a brand new bar of soap in the bathroom...and only half the
bar remains!
 
The whole brood was let out only 15 minutes ago, but you hear NO SOUNDS!
 
The pointer of your mouse is moving all over the screen of your computer,
but no one is *at* the computer!
 
Dinner is just about ready to come out of the oven, but you suddenly
realize there are no pot holders anywhere to be found!
 
And most importantly, you should be worried when you hear your car start
up and you look out the window to see it slowly backing down the driveway,
but no one seems to be driving it...and all the ferrets are gone!
 
Hope some of you got a few good snickers out of these! :)
 
Todd and the (Be Worried...be VERY worried!) Fuzzbutt Rodeo Clowns!
 
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[Posted in FML issue 3215]