I think that my Paw Paw tried to kill  me yesterday.
 
I was all curled up and cozy-warm in his underwear drawer, sound asleep,
when I heard the rasin box rattling.  Needless to say, I was instantly
awake, hardly paused for a good yawn and a stretch, and was on the bed
looking cute and expectant.  Paw Paw gave me a nice fat raisin and started
putting my harness on me while I ate the juicy thing.  I don't mind wearing
my harness now and then because having it on usually means that I'm in for a
really fun adventure.
 
After I finished the raisin and wiped my chin on Mee Maw's pillow case, I
let Paw Paw pick me up and carry me to the front door.  "Oh, boy!" I
thought.  "This is going to be a most excellent romp.  I love Outside!"
 
The first thing that struck me when the door was opened was a blast of the
coldest air I had ever felt on my little body.  There was white stuff flying
throught the air and it looked like it just might be fun to play with some
of it.  I changed my mind very quickly when the old man put me down into a
pile of the stuff that covered the ground.  I have fond memories of Outside.
It's always been a fun place to have a good romp.  It didn't take me long to
realize that something was deffinitely WRONG this time.  And hey, who stole
the grass?
 
Anyway, as soon as my feets sank down into the stuff and my belly touched
it, I let out a shriek the likes of which I have never let out before.  That
stuff was COLD!  I jumped about a foot into the air, landed on Paw Paw's
boot and made a hasty retreat to the front door.  He started laughing.  I
didn't see anything funny about the situation!
 
I started scratching on the door for all I was worth and hollering for Mee
Maw to let me in 'cause Paw Paw was trying to kill me.  She didn't let me in
right away.  Paw Paw kept pointing this clickety-click black thing at me and
laughing.  When she finally opened the door, I made a bee line for the sofa,
jumped up on it and started doing a war dance.  I was praying that Mee Maw
would come to my defense and help me ward off the crazed old fool.  I am
sooo glad that she did.
 
She took me into the bedroom, gave me two raisins and some Ferretbites, and
petted me untill I quit shivering.  "I don't guess Tater likes snow very
much," she said as Paw Paw came into the room, still chuckling.  She sure
got that right!
 
I got even last night.  Just when Paw Paw started snoring real good, I gave
him a big ol' chomp on his little toe - just to let him know how I felt
about the whole thing.
 
We made up this morning.  He petted me and rubbed me for a long time and
gave me some raisins and treats.  He explained that he thought that I would
enjoy the 'snow' because he had read, on the FML, about all the ferrets who
went snow snorkeling.  I quickly informed him that snow might be fine for
them because they are probably used to it.  I don't want any part of that
cold, wet stuff.  They can have it.  I'm a Georgia ferret and I like my
feets to be warm, thank you.
 
I'm happy to report that peace has returned to my home tonight.  I have
forgiven Paw Paw for trying to freeze me to death.  He's promised that he
will never do that to me again.  Him and Mee Maw still chuckle a lot when
they talk about how I reacted to the snow.  I guess that's OK - they are
getting old.  You guys who live up North can have your snow back.  I can't
wait for it to go away so I can play in my nice, warm grass again.
 
Chilly Dooks and a big ol' Brrrr from,
 
Tater - one ferret who is definitely NOT an ermine
[Posted in FML issue 1438]