Dear Ferret Folks-

Despite the suspicions of SOME PEOPLE who live in New Jersey (Basking
Ridge) that I may have crypto-Republican leanings, what came in the
mail today but my copy of "The Docket", the regular newsletter of
the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU, as in, card-carrying) in
Massachusetts? I looked it over and I considered it in light of this
recent Selina/ Depends/ Class Action issue here in the FML.

Selina is a *Canadian.* And while it might be tempting and trendy to
attempt an "Occupy Canada" event while waiting for this Class Action
suit to try to cross the northern border...(good luck, even though we
outnumber them ten to one)...I thought perhaps it would be wise for us
'Murricans to review our history of conflict with Canada. Actually,
it's pretty dismal. Um...not for the Canadians. They have a pretty
solid record of kicking our asses back when they were France and we
were England, and again when they were England and we were a very new
United States of America.. In fact, in the War of 1812 they pretty much
kicked our butts in great wide circles around Niagara Falls until they
got tired of it. I think that finally their feet hurt and they stopped.
We thought about invading them again after the American Civil War when
we had that humungous standing army but wisdom prevailed. (We were
unwilling to try for 3 out of 3. As they say in Newfoundland, "Proper
'ting.")

I would not be in a hurry to *iss them off. Have you ever seen a
"Canadian Ferret?" They ain't cream puffs. Maybe we should just back
away quietly, and leave Selina alone in her ice-bound abode. These are
not people to trifle with...Je m'souviens, and all that. Have you ever
*watched* a hockey game? Really watched? Wayne Gretzky comes across all
sweet and affable. Put him on skates and give him a stick. Then you'll
see something to curl your hair.

Now, if you *insist* on the "Occupy Canada" approach (and I don't
recommend this, the RCMP are NOT Dudley Do-Right) I would target the
Parliament buildings in Ottawa, the Federal capitol. Why? Because
right next to them is a make-shift home for homeless cats. Scads of
them. When I was last there oh, 15 years ago it was a ramshackle affair
made of plywood and carpet scraps. Now it is the premiere feline
destination in the Province of Ontario. It has undergone significant
gentrification. Still, it has dozens of plump, happy cats and is
entertaining. Way back when I used to bring tourist groups to Ottowa
I offered them a choice. Parliament buildings, or the cat village.
The cat village always won. I don't *ever* remember a group opting
for the Parliament buildings, although they are nice, and paneled in
native Canadian woods. There is also a nice equestrian statue of Queen
Elizabeth II on the grounds. They liked that, but not as mush as the
cat village.

Remember. Canadian Ferrets. Wayne Gretzky. Danger. Back away.

Alexandra in MA

[Posted in FML 7428]