My condolences to all those with lost, sick, or angeled fuzzbabies.
 
You're never prepared for a loss...never.  I always thought I'd know what
to do and I thought I knew how I'd react.  But I was wrong.  I've never
been so grief stricken.
 
We lost our first ferret and only little girl, Dweezil, on Sunday Dec.
2nd.  She was a beautiful, sweet, smart, 5 y/o.  She had struggled with
Adrenal, but seemed to be doing pretty well.  She was slowing down a bit,
but still had an appetite and had fun exploring.  Friday she was even
acting a bit like her old self.  Saturday around 9pm she was also her
normal self.
 
Since we cannot have our pets with us they reside with my in-laws and on
Sunday my mother-in-law came over with bad news.  She said that she
thought we were losing Dweezil.  We rushed over to their house and she was
cold...so cold. :(  I lifted her out of her hammy and held her close.  She
was still breathing, but you could feel a rattle in her chest.  She had
absolutely no strength and could not lift her head.  However, she could
somewhat push against you with her back legs.  I laid down on the bed
with Dweezil on my chest and a towel wrapped around her and I told her all
about the Rainbow Bridge and the ferrets she'd be able to play with there
and how she'd be able to have unlimited froot loops.  I told her about
when I first got her as a kit and how she was a hellion, and how I loved
her so much, and how I'd miss her.  I told her it was ok to leave for the
bridge and that we'd always be thinking of her.  When we took her outside
my husband, Jason, said that Dweezil lifted her head, although I didn't
see it.  When we got out of the car at the emergency clinic I did see her
raise her head and she paddled her front legs a bit.  That was the most
alert we'd seen her since we arrived at my in-law's house.  I was told
that I was not able to be with her for the euthanization and I'll always
regret that, but I know that I got to say what I wanted to say to her.
We buried her in Jason's grandparent's pet cemetery.
 
I haven't been out to the grave since the night we buried her, and I
really feel the need to visit it and have some time alone.  It is so
strange to be without her.  I know it's silly but I never ever thought I'd
lose her.  She left behind her "brother" Opie and he's doing better than
I expected him to.  He's eating and drinking and playing with our kitten,
Texas.  He did search for her, and I believe he was going to take his
favorite toy mouse to her hidey hole...if Texas would've let him.  I
really believe that he's doing this well because before we took Dweezil
to the clinic we told Opie to say goodbye and held him up to her, and when
we returned we let him see her body and say a final goodbye.
 
I hope that writing to all of you will help with my grief.  I appreciate
Sandee welcoming Dweezil to the bridge. :)  Thank you.
 
I know she's safe, free from pain, and looking down on me everyday.
Please, Sandee, tell Dweezil that I miss her so much, that I'm thinking
of her always, that I miss her ferrety kisses, and that I can feel her
sitting on my shoulder everyday.
 
Thanks,
Holly, Jason, Opie and Texas
[Posted in FML issue 3623]