Okay, folks, here is the original correspondence between Ms. Frye and
me....in it's entirety (albeit 2 parts... I hope BIG will combine for me).
 
DF: I can certainly understand this Ann Anonymously being upset with
flames she has recd that are not CIVIL and have profanity, threats or
name-calling in them.  I have not seen any such flames on the FML,
 
ME: Then you must be blind.  Apparently you did not see "No one is making
excuses about anything **shole" and "How *ucking stupid are you??" (posted
by Kate Coppola)
 
DF: Here is my perspective (this is NOT a flame against Kim S or anyone
else who defends the above person's original post).  Let's analyze the
situation.  This person posts a very negative message about ferrets
(actually, it sounded very hateful) to a list of ferret owners who are
very, very passionate about these creatures.  Then this person gets upset
about what transpires?
 
ME: Ummmm... No, I did NOT get upset.  Obviously, you suffer from some
kind of reading comprehension problem.  I only set Kate Coppola in her
place for her rude remarks(and she apologized).  If you had any grasp of
the English language, you would have understood the followup post where I
said "Thank you... most responses were compassionate"... I had a "special
note" for Kate only.  Furthermore, BIG had a response to Kate as well
(which you apparently failed to see).
 
DF: Perhaps this person needs to go back and re-read their original post,
which sure sounded to me (and lots of others given the reaction) that she
hates ferrets and I believe even stated "I will never own ferrets again."
 
ME: Yep.  That's exactly what I said.  And it's exactly what I meant.
However, I did NOT say that I hated ferrets.  YOU are putting words in
my mouth.
 
DF: If one were to go onto a mailing list or forum about the September
11th attacks (which we all feel passionately about, just as we feel
passionate about our ferrets) and were to state "I think terrorism is
good and America deserves what it got" how do you think this person would
be treated?
 
ME: Oh for God sake!!  That is the most RIDICULOUS analogy I have ever
heard!  You are trying to compare apples to oranges.
 
To reiterate, I did NOT say I hated ferrets... I said that the damage they
can do is COSTLY and I don't find DAMAGE to be amusing or endearing.
 
DF: Would you then defend this person when others start "flaming" them?
Yes, this is an extreme analogy, but it has a very strong point.
 
ME: It does???  I failed to see it.  You are comparing Anti-American
sentiment, the deaths of THOUSANDS of fellow Americans, the loss of our
freedom and innocence to my ranting about a *ucking ferret?!  Get a grip.
If you had said that to me in PERSON, I would have slapped your face!!
 
DF:This anonymous person has apparently been on the FML for a long time
(according to BIG), so by now this person knows how passionate FMLers are
about ferrets.
 
ME: Yes, I DO know how passionate ferret owners are about ferrets.... I
also know that they tend to whitewash everything about ferrets and NEW
ferret owners often aren't aware that they may be replacing carpeting that
has been dug at, buying new sofas that have been shredded,.... And to
reinforce MY opinion, I cited examples of MY ferret's antics.
 
I had this conversation with a fellow FMLer.... SHE totally agreed with
me.  SHE agrees that ferrets are NOT perfect pets.  SHE encouraged me to
post what I did.  I guarantee that you would FALL OUT OF YOUR CHAIR if
you knew who this person was!!!
 
DF: I can certainly understand being a "frustrated" ferret owner, but I
don't understand her need to belittle Ferret X and post such hateful
material.
 
ME: Belittle Ferret X?  Okay, so Ferret X is going to take this
PERSONALLY???  Trust me on this one, he cannot read!
 
DF: I believe that Randy stated it best when he said that not being able
to put an identity on this person (posting anonymously), makes people
suspicious,
 
ME: I wasn't ASKING for help therefore I didn't see a need to publicize my
address.
 
DF: ...hit it right on the head.  I certainly did not read the original
post as a "vent".
 
ME: Again I'd like to point out your reading comprehension problem.  The
first sentence was "Okay folks, I just need to vent.  This isn't going to
be pretty but it's going to be HONEST!"  Read that again several times
until you understand it.
 
DF: Perhaps if she said, "I sure hate it when Ferret X takes the remote
control or it drives me nuts when Ferret X does this, and I am truly at a
loss on what to do" would have been more of a vent and less of a "I am
never getting ferrets again" or "ferrets suck".  Do you see the
difference?
 
ME: I did NOT say "ferrets suck"... YOU put those words in my mouth.  But,
since you mention it, yes, Ferret X DOES suck.  Would it have been better
if I had said all I did and then proceeded to say that I was going to buy
one or two more today???
 
DF: Nobody has used profanity or name-calling towards you,
 
ME: Again, I refer you to Kate's post.... as well as BIG's note:
[Moderator's note: Actually, with the exception of Kate's note, I felt
most responses were quite civil and I thank the FML for that.  I do want
to apologize for letting through Kate's response -- I clearly didn't pay
enough attention to it (was a 04:00 night again... sigh) and it should
NOT have made it onto the FML.  BIG]
 
DF: That is how I feel.  Actually, with the post this anon person made,
I expected to see much worse responses (I bet BIG had to reject some).
There has been no flaming I have seen, just people voicing their opinions
and concerns, civilly.  What I consider "flaming" is someone swearing at
you and calling you names and/or making threats, that just has not
occurred on this forum and probably wont because it is moderated.
 
ME: It DID occur with ONE post... I addressed that person.  The rest WERE
civil and I thanked everyone for that.  I reiterated my point(s) and
clarified some misconceptions.  YOU, however, chose to ignore my follow-up
post.  And what I find most interesting is that you are continuing to STIR
the pot!!  Everything was already addressed... why are you throwing in
your two cents NOW??
 
Here's an idea for you... when more than three days has passed since an
original post do NOT address it...You missed the train and flurry of
emotion the first time around.  After more than three days, your
commentary seems "off the wall" especially after the dust has settled.
At this point, my suggestion is... MYOB.
 
[Moderator's note: This seems to match what Danielle sent me privately.
But really, this is only posted as a follow-up to Danielle's post.  If
you have comments I'd ask that your comments be sent directly to the
people involved -- the FML isn't the place for what has now become a
private argument between two people.  BIG]
[Posted in FML issue 3591]