Dearest Sammi,
 
This is Smudge's Ma.  After reading him your sister's FML post today, Smudge
fainted cold.  I mean out for the count.  I thought that he had stroked out
on me.  I had to do the "Ferrick" manuever (you know, the tickle one) in his
armipts untill he came to.  He hasn't quit war dancing yet!!  He's bounced
off of the coffee table, five chairs, the couch, the love seat, the walls,
the hallway, the dog, me, the refridgerator, the door stop, the desk, 2 cats
and the wastepaper basket.  It's lika a hyper energizer bunny gone bad!!
I'm worried for his heart, must be beating lika a hummingbird!  I have some
"ace" for use on horese, what do you think the dosage is for ferrets?
 
OPPS!!  There he goes!  He snuck out the back door and is headed at the
speed of sound to the veggie garden, chuckling something about carrots!
 
Anyway, why I really wrote this is to tell you I already feel like a mother
to you and I welcome you into my small family.  I feel we can talk as mother
and daughter so I hope you consider everything I say with the love it is
intended.  If I understand correctly, you're considering accepting my
Smudge's proposal of marriage due to default.  I guess Conan (who also has
asked for you paw), has another girl friend?  I want you to look to your
heart in this matter.  Smudge is proclaiming his eternal love for you and
marriage is a big and lasting step.  I want the best for the both of you.
Sammi, true love waits.  And Smudge is willing to have a long engagement, if
you are not yet sure about how you feel.
 
If you need me, call anytime.
 
Your future mother-in-law, I hope   :)
[Posted in FML issue 1652]