HO HO HO, Santa here and not the Ferret (Frettchen Heil!) Nazi, thanks to
Georgia.  Actually it was so warm here at the Ferret Olympics park on the
lake shore that I forwent wearing of my German steel helmet this time and
instead wore my modern Japanese Home Defense Forces Navy cloth cap with the
crossed American and Japanese flags pin.
 
No angry person came up to me and said, "Hey buddy, don't you remember Pearl
Harbor?" So that was a plus of sorts.  But speaking of warm weather it's
about 89 deg F outside in the sun now, although it wasn't that warm
yesterday, the day of the Ferret Frolics/Olympics.
 
I have 3 FNW-reared ferrets and two pet store ferrets staked outside on the
digging grounds and after checking them 4 times already today for signs of
possible heat prostration, I have made a simple, yet maybe significant
discovery.  Aha!  All you gotta do is look and wonder why.
 
My 3 FNW-reared ferrets seem to know how to move to stay in the shade of
overhanging shrubbery and trees.  These 3 are intact.  The two Marshall Farm
pet store ferrets don't seem to know how to keep changing their locations
to take advantage of the shade as the sun moves east to west.  Twice today
I've had to move the pet store ferrets and wet them down after noticing that
they were panting for air and as limp as wet noodles from the effects of
heat prostration.  I fear that had I not picked them up and moved them into
nearby shade (the were almost lifeless and seemed without enough energy to
hold up their heads) that they now would be loaded with clusters of fly eggs
about their mouths and nostrils.  Happens amazingly rapid after reaching
ambient temperature.
 
The 2 MF pet store ferrets are recent arrivals at FNW because their owners
"no longer had time to take them out of their cage as much as they perhaps
should." Time spent outside in the real world was minimal to non-existent.
Their paws had never touched Mother Earth until we picked them up from their
solitary confinement and gave them their first experience with "dirt, grass,
and blue sky."
 
I don't know if this is a lamentable experience for the "house" ferret.
That is, being confined indoors most of their lives.  Does it not speak to
the ignorance and perhaps the laziness) of the ferret owner?
 
One lesson learned: Don't hold all ferrets co=equal 'cause some are more =
than others.  Not only in the butchery wrecked upon them (too early, way too
early neutering and spaying) but also in the method of rearing are these
ferrets essentially deficited.
 
I guess the others (the tougher critters) we could call "Stalwarts."  So
what do we have here in grossly defining two basic classes of ferrets:
Deficited and Stalwarts?  Well, Stalwarts maybe OK, but methinks most volk
would be less than pleased with their ferret being classed as deficited,
especially since the vast majority of ferrets out there today in private
ownership are of MF, pet store variety.
 
Well, if we agree that the effects of prolonged confinement in an "unnatural
environment" may produce psychological deficits resulting in actual
physiological impairments (not having sense enough to move away from the
heat (sunshine) and seek out the shade), then we may conclude that the
ferret is psychologically impaired.  The word for this condition (check
Websters) is psychophysiologic, or shortened: psychophysic.
 
So instead of "Deficited" we got "Psychophysic."
 
"Yeah, here; c'mon I want you to meet my psychophysic ferret.  She won 1st
place in the Seattle Ferret Show but just hates being outside and she is
absolutely terrified of water." "Oh, no; you can't touch her, but you can
look at her . . . er, not that close - ECE you know."
 
Aller Anfang ist schwer. [G.] Most beginnings are difficult.
 
Edward Frettchenvergnuegen Lipinski, the Ferret Nazi (or Santa if you
prefer) who wishes you: Wissenschaft.  [G.] Knowledge from learning.
 
PS Will attempt to have the results of the Ferret Olympics posted tomorrow.
The ferret hearing response event and the ferret slithering event produced
some unexpected results.  The ferret olympic swimming event was cancelled at
the lakeshore edge.  Just too much oil/gasoline film on the water and an
unusual amount of debris and algae-like plant growth floating about.  These
little personal water craft, like a snowmobile but go in the water, are
really severe polluters with their gasoline/oil mix they burn and the fact
that their engine exhaust is underwater.  Man they stink!
[Posted in FML issue 2355]