Howdy,
 
It's been a long time since I posted.  I've been so busy, I've barely been
able keep up with reading the FML, much less post.  Probably a good thing
though, I probably would have offended some people's delicate sensibilities
with my reactions to some of the posts, especially the goldfish ones.  I
would have said something dumb about dolphin-safe tuna vs.  tuna-safe
dolphins, but it would have been ferret-related because my ferrets like to
eat tuna and they have a dolphin-shaped squeek toy.  I was also impressed
that in two different posts there was reference to lime jello :)
 
Anyway, the actual reason I'm posting is to introduce the newest member of
The Weezils of Doom.  For months now I've been successfully fending off
ferret math.  But when I saw an add in the paper for a free ferret, ferret
math quickly upgraded to ferret calculus.  I wanted another ferret and I
hate to see adds for free ferrets because everyone and their dog will be
calling for it.  At least with me, know the ferret will get a good home.  (I
also believe ferrets are not objects to be bought and sold as possessions
(when you give money for a ferret, you are not paying for the ferret, you
are paying for the *privilege* of owning a ferret (if you assigned a
monetary value to a ferret, the only person that could afford to own one
would be Bill Gates (I just put this in here so I could have four levels of
parenthesis.))))
 
His current name is Travis (which will probably change since I don't think
Travis is a very ferrety name) and he's Marshall albino male.  When I picked
the new guy up, he was in pretty sad shape.  He was real skinny and his hair
was dry and brittle and had some bald spots.  His owner had been feeding him
Friskies.  He was also barely ever let out of his cage because of lack of
time on the owner's part, which is why she was giving the ferret away.  I
don't think he was treated like this on purpose.  It was the typical case of
a well-meaning, but uneducated ferret owner.
 
I took him home and got him started on Totally Ferret.  I took him to the
vet for shots and a checkup.  I was worried that the hair loss could mean
adrenal bad stuff, but it was determined to most likely be a combination of
poor nutrition and spring shed.  And that seems to be correct because after
about two weeks of good food, he's growing hair back!  He's also rapidly
putting on weight.
 
Now that he's had time to settle in and get used to his new home, I'm
finding out he's a little klepto.  My other weezils have become more
specialized in their thievery, only stealing certain things.  But Travis
will take anything that's not nailed down.  Right now, I'm missing 1.5 pairs
of shoes, the TV remote, a stuffed platypus, some fuzzy dice, almost every
sock I own, and my '63 VW Bug.  I haven't integrated him in with the other
weezils yet.  I'm waiting until he gets a little more meat on his bones
first, cuz I know Insanity will beat the tar out of him when I introduce
them.
 
Well I'm off to go search for my missing items (not really, I'm at work so I
can't but it seemed like the proper closing statement for this post).
 
May all you bald spots grow hair,
Limejello & The Weezils of Doom
 
"Ferrets are great, what other pet folds neatly in half for easy
storage" --me
[Posted in FML issue 2342]