Dear Ferret Folks-

I don't think that it's fair, fair AT ALL that only some of us here on
the FML have been invited to play in this new round of Personal Attack.
I am feeling left by the wayside like Rudolph, who was not invited to
play in any Reindeer Games. Heck, I don't even know what the issue is
*this* time around. So I have written an all-inclusive Personal Attack
Template for any of you who like me, feel left out and want to play,
too.

Here we go.

"I don't mean to start anything BUT (insert person or organization here
_____) has (insert misdeed here _____). I know because:

A) I read it on Facebook. 
B) EVERYBODY knows. 
C) Anonymous said. 
D) (Insert name _____) has always been a (Insert incendiary noun
   here _____.)" 

"Honestly, it is with the utmost respect that I: 

E) Kick dirt on 
F) Stab in the back 
G) Verbally assassinate 
H) Smear with cavalier disregard for the facts 

(Insert persons or organizations here. _____)" 

"I would never want to stir up trouble, BIG knows that I never stir
up trouble BUT I: 

J) Can not 
B) *WILL* not 
K) Can not and *WILL not* 
L) For the sake of the ferrets MUST 

(Choose from E through F listed above, or get really creative and just
go crazy! _____)  (Insert person or organization here._____.)" 

OK. There's the Template. Let's see how it works! 

EXAMPLE:

"I don't mean to start anything BUT (Wolfy) has (been kidnapping and
killing infants to render their fat into candles that she uses in her
weird Voodoo rituals). I know because (I read it on Facebook.)
Honestly, it is with the utmost respect that I (kick dirt on) (Wolfy.)
I would never want to stir up trouble, BIG knows that I never stir up
trouble BUT I, (for the sake of the ferrets MUST) (smear with cavalier
disregard for the facts) (Wolfy.)

It's that easy! Don't be left out, join the fray, today!

(Alexandra) (In MA)

[Moderator's note: The really funny thing about personal attack posts,
especially the non-detailed speculative kind that I often let through,
is that pretty much without exception they make the author look bad.
Usually very much so. The hate message of the author gets turned back
toward him/herself and sympathies flow to those being attacked. I
don't really know why a few people persist in such perverse behavior
but such is life on the FML I guess. BIG]

[Posted in FML 7133]