Dear Fred and the Fuzzbutts,
 
I am very sorry at your distress.  But you have to understand, we humans
just can't help ourselves.  You are so adorable and cute to us that it
triggers the drooly sentimental gene and we just loose all control.  I know
you are a manly ferret and that these public displays of affection are hard
to handle, but just treat it like a sickness.
 
Besides, if you act goofy enough when you are getting hugged and
everything, you might be able to con your Mom out of more raisins.
 
And yes, the local f.l.o. chapter has stolen my checkbook, car keys and
one of my birkies.  So you do have comrades here in Missouri.
 
with sincerest apologies,
 
Auntie Maggie
[Posted in FML issue 2800]