i lost my sascha-bean at 10:40 sunday morning. this is very long, and
you all may not want to read it, but i feel i need to tell his story,
now that the end, the final chapter, has finally just been written.

i've not had the strength to do this until now.

***************************************************************

day 1 (wednesday,november 21):

i wake and find sascha lethargic, not eating, and realize belatedly
he's lost a lot of weight, more than what i'd attributed to just autumn
(say, blowing his coat in prep for winter). the bit of banana i usually
give all 3 of them barely warranted a sniff from him. he normally
gobbles his down and fights max and pixie for theirs. so, not a good
sign. i rush him to his regular vet. nothing obvious found, maybe
ulcers. he prescribed amoxi/carafate/reglan and duck soup by hand;
as much as i can get him to eat and drink. vet will be closed for
thanksgiving until following monday. figures. bring him back then
and we'll look at xrays, bloodwork, ultrasound, the usual suspects.

day 2 (thanksgiving) after a fruitless night of trying to get sascha
to eat by hand and him throwing it right back up, almost projectile
vomiting, along with grinding his teeth, i call an emergency vet
recommended by another local ferret-vet; i've never been there, to see
about a barium x-ray, which may reveal a blockage not found otherwise.
they say they don't generally perform them on ferrets, but bring him in
and they'll be happy to take a look at him. so i reluctantly take him
to the emergency vet. regular x-rays seemingly show nothing remarkable
to the doctor present, so they want to keep him overnight on IV fluids
and show the x-rays to the surgeon the next day.

day 3: still not eating/throwing up what they try to feed him, still on
fluids, and now having black tarry stools; still maybe ulcers? surgeon
looks at x-rays, sees nothing remarkable to him; wants an ultrasound.
fine. ultrasound shows nothing more than a possible dilated loop of his
duodenum; or something *on* his duodenum. suggests exploratory surgery
with biopsies as only chance to find anything definitive. at this point
they haven't ever been able to get a blood draw to do bloodwork; his
veins were too collapsed. i agree to surgery as it seems the only thing
that may save him/find what's wrong. if he doesn't die during surgery,
whatever is wrong will kill him soon...there's not much left to this
poor little guy, but he's hanging in there; not giving up. he vomited
up everything they tried to feed him right before surgery, about 5cc's
all at once. not good. surgery performed ~5pm, removed a node from his
duodenum, took biopsies of his duodenum, GI tract, stomach, liver, but
otherwise, found nothing. *sigh* he actually lived thru the surgery;
by no means a minor miracle in his weakened state.

day 4: went to see him in the afternoon, anthropomorphically bringing a
get-well card from max and pixie and a remnant of their blanket so it
will smell like home. he's pretty pitiful-looking, wrapped in a blanket
to keep him warm. he's been quiet, hypothermic, still vomiting, with
tarry stools interspersed with frank blood. might be just because of
the surgery, might not. not looking good, but could be just what's
expected under the circumstances. i call them about 8pm to check,
talk to the doctor from thursday. now sascha's seemingly developing
pneumonia (gee, maybe aspiration from the food they fed him before
surgery? idiots.) they want to put him on oxygen. fine, do it. i
start asking more questions. why isn't he on steroids? are they doing
anything more proactive then simply making him comfortable? do we
have anything to lose at this point? (not my first experience with
post-surgical ferrets). if he's made it this far, there must be some
spark, some spirit left in him; he wants to live. they're 'just
starting him on steroids', and now the doctor's 'been doing some
research and considering the possibility of ibs/ibd (irritable bowel
syndrome/disease)'.

day 5: phone call in the morning from an unknown doctor. looks grim.
still on oxygen and fluids (which they switched to hetastarch to help
with the congestion in his lungs), still bleeding/bloody stools,
hypothermic, but moving around a bit; might be the steroids at work
giving him some needed energy. could be a good sign.

phone call from friday's surgeon 30 minutes later (he didn't know the
other doc had called): he sounds slightly more optimistic. sascha's
moving about, still bleeding, but maybe from the surgery. there's hope
that he will pull thru, and that the biopsies may show something. for
now, still unknown what's going on with him. i plan to go see him on
my way to work.

at 10:35, just 30 minutes later, the first doctor calls back. he had
just coded 5 minutes before; did i want them to continue CPR? they
worked him for a total of 10 minutes; compressions, atropine, epi. ekg
flatline, pupils fixed and dilated, bloody fluid coming from his lungs.
no coming back, no bringing him back. sascha bean-head, the world's
nicest ferret, is gone forever.

aftermath:

i went after work sunday (imagine what a great day that was..) to pick
up his body and settle the bill. we're talking just under $3,000. i'm
not kidding. through my grief, i am angry. the biopsies are still
sitting on their counter; they've not even been sent. all this
suffering, all this money, and all i have to show is an astronomical
bill and a dead ferret. all this for naught. (as for the biopsies,
it's a moot point anyway, as all this was, as you'll read.)

i take his body to his regular vet on monday (the 26th). they recommend
i don't look at him; none-too-pretty. i request a necropsy if my
regular vet thinks it will help. i'll pick up his ashes later this
week. i then call CSU's pathology lab in ft collins to see when they
think they'll even get the biopsies, let alone have results. unknown.
i'm frustrated.

my regular vet called tuesday. he was able to do a necropsy, hoping to
give me some peace of mind. nothing remarkable found with his stomach,
gi tract, lungs, just things consistent with a lot of illness and
trauma, but he did say they did a very good job with the surgery; they
were very careful and methodical, things looked proper. no help. he
couldn't offer much more than condolences and 'we all did what we
thought was right, and what we can, and don't second-guess yourself',
and all those nice sounds.

and now the clincher. this morning, 8am, my regular vet calls
first-thing. he just got a faxed report from the ER vet hospital's own
head radiologist, who *just* got a look at the x-rays; a week later
(come to find out this person only comes to the office twice a week???)
to them, it was obvious at first glance what was wrong with sascha,
according to the report.

turns out sascha had megaesophagus. so pretty much a death sentence
from the get-go. i have heard of it and know the truth but never dealt
with it first-hand. ironically, a barium x-ray would have shown it
immediately, as nothing (including the barium) would have been going
down past his esophagus. it just sits there, and then comes right back
up. a whole lot of time and money would have been saved, but still not
his precious life.

we put this poor little thing thru absolute hell for nothing. there's
no cure for it, and what little treatment there is only prolongs the
inevitable. sascha was doomed. it had progressed over the last month,
maybe two. gradual weight loss, unnoticed thru his beautiful thick full
fluffy coat, but he'd dropped from over 1200 grams to under 700. he was
wasting away, and nothing, but nothing could be done. in a way, he'd
become a hungry ghost.

this has been a weeklong nightmare, but now at least there's some
waking up with this news, but i still feel awful for what we put him
thru, and for all the money thrown at this, when nothing would have
saved him.

i am now in the process of disputing the charges, as i definitely feel
an emergency vet that promotes themselves as 24/7/365 needs to have
specialists there all the time who can accurately read x-rays, as the
doctor and surgeon (highly trained medical professionals? ha.) were
obviously incapable of it and yet were presented to me intrusting
confidence as qualified to make such decisions, and i was billed far
above and beyond what i should have been if they'd had someone there
to get it right the first time, a week ago. i'm willing to pay for the
care he received up until the misdiagnosis, nothing more. (if anyone
can suggest any sort of legal help i can get in such a case, i'm all
ears. if this were a person, can you say 'malpractice'? 'gross
negligence'?)

i know non-pet owners will ask why we who have pets will go to such
extremes, or get so wrapped up in them, and especially something like
ferrets, who seem so delicate and short-lived...sometimes i might
wonder too. but then i look at max and pixie, all pretzeled together so
sweetly sleeping, or tumbling over each other playing, and i remember
all the wonderful memories i've had with my little fuzzbutts over these
11+ years, and i know why. and i cry.

there's nothing more to say now. i felt i had to tell sascha's tale,
sing his song, 'celebrate his life', as it were, so he'd not be
forgotten.

hug your ferrets, all your pets, often...love them always. you never
know when they'll be taken from you.

please, bridge greeters, show sascha the way and let him know if i'd
only known we were steered down the wrong road, his journey would not
have been so long and painful. i never wanted that to happen. i'm so
very sorry.

~sherrie, aka daoine o', the ferret queen

and now we are 2:
max and pixie

farewell to sascha-beanhead, the world's nicest ferret
~4/2002? - 11/25/2007

waiting at the bridge:
monty-boo, razzle, jezebel, loki, sylvi, and natasha the stranger...
and still missing dweezil, my one small star: 08/26/96-09/03/04

[Posted in FML 5807]