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Date:
Fri, 13 Nov 1998 18:08:40 EST
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Hi!  This be Rockford.  I needed to tell all the ferrets and all the ferret
lover all about my berry, berry, berry bad day.  First of all, my buddy
Epstein has been real sick and had to have a big operation ons his Tummy
on Sunday.  The person has been all worried and upset about Epstein.  He's
gonna be okay and just needs to stay in the little cage by himself until
the stitches come out in 10-14 days.
 
Anyway ...  likes I was saying ...things have been a bit scarey an tense at
our house 'cause Epstein has been real real sick.
 
We live with a nice person and her roomblate.  The roomblate is okay ....
he's nice enough, but he don't love ferts.  A couple of months ago the
roomblate's girlfriend came to stay with us...she's nice and stuff and
talks to us in another language.  All the trouble started when the
girlfriend moved in.  First she started turing the heat on ...real real hot
to like 85!  And it ain't even winter.  Its been getting real real hot in
our house and when the person comes home she opens all the windows and
turns off the heat until it gets back to around 70.  (The person also gives
us frozen water bottles just like in summer incase we get too hot when she
is not around to rescue us.)
 
Its been getting a little cold outside (in the 50's and 60's) and lots of
little critters that don't have no human's to take care of them like to try
to move into warm houses this time of year.  A couple of field mice came to
our extra hot house.  The girl friend saw them and you'd of thought the
world was over.  She screamed and cried and yelled!  The roomblate ran out
that very minute and bought mean traps that crush the little skulls of the
sweet field mice.  Now our person didn't like this very much ...so to
compromise she went out and bought more mouse traps.... but she didn't buy
the kind with poision ...she bought the kind with glue and put them all
over the apartment (except in our room or course.)
 
Yesterday the person worked up berry berry early and left the room to go
potty in the little room (the person doesn't know how to use a box!).  I
snuck out and ran all around the apartment.  The person ain't to smart at 6
am and she didn't see me escape.  I was runnin around and having all kinds
of good sniffin fun .... when I made a great mistake.  I stepped in one of
those GLUE TRAPS!  It was terribble.  The whole thing stuck to my foots!
It went wack-a wack-a wack- when I ran.  I started to cry and cry and went
to find the person.
 
She was mad!  She told me I was a foolish woozle and that she didn't have
time for anymore ferret tramua as Epstein done chewed up every last nerve
she had.  She also gave me kisses and promised to help me.  Then she stuck
my bummy and my rear foots in a sink full of warm, soapy water and pulled
and pulled and pulled for hours and hours and hours until all the glue done
come of my foots.  I just hate getting a bath and this was just like a bath
 ...only my head didn't get wet.  I just had a bath about 3 weeks ago and I
ain't due for another one until Christmas.  Finally she got all the glue
stuff off of me - kissed me - dried me off and put me in the big cage.
Then she throweed away all the rest of the glue traps.
 
After the person went to work the girlfriend put all the dangerous traps
all around the apartment again.  THEN she took some very smelly human
PERFUME and sprayed it all over me and all over my cage and all over poor
sick EPSTEIN and all over his cage.  It was vey icky perfume... the kind
you would find srpayed all over your least favorite ANT at Christmas.  It
was all flowery and fake and chemicly and clashed terrible with our natural
musk.  We then smelled just darn terrible.  She also poured all kinds of
cleaner stuff all over the floors.  (She's been puring cleaner stuff all
over the house every day.) She then turned up the heat to almost 90 and
left the house.
 
When the person came home she was very mad!!!  She turned off the heat and
opened all the windows and doors and left them open for at least 5 hours.
She then had to give me a bath and scrub down both of our cages.  Epstein
can't have a bath until his stitches come out so she gave him a "sponge
bath" but she didn't use any sponges ...just a whole bunch of towels ...and
she didn't clean his tummy ....just his back and his head and his tail.
She then went crazy scrubbing my cage and Epstein's cage and took away all
of our blankets and tents and tubes and everything.  Now she had just
washed my cage on Saturday and Epstein's on Tuesday and all our our
blankies on Saturday .... so now they have to be washed again.
 
The roomblate and the girlfriend came home at 2 in the morning and the
Person let them know how pissed she was.  They denied putting the perfume
on us!  The girlfriend had the adacity to suggest that someone had broken
into the apartment and spayed the perfume on us.  They did agree that we's
and all our stuff smelled just darn terrible and weird.  (Watch out
everybody ...strange people are running around breaking into apartment and
spraying nasty perfume on ferrets.  They dont' steal computers or stereo's
or money or nuttin.  They just like to make ferrets smell berry beryy berry
bad.)
 
So thats the story of how I had 2 baths in one day.  The roomblate is
almost done with his "thesis" and will be leaving on January 1....the
girlfriend leaves with him.  He was suppose to leave on November 1 but he
had a problem with his "thesis" and couldn't leave until he fixed it.
 
On Monday, the person, Epstein and I are gonna meet some new people.  We
are gonna find a person who loves fuzzy's to replace the roomblate.  If we
can't find a fuzzy lover.... we ain't gonna get another roomblate.
 
Lublub
Rockford
[Posted in FML issue 2492]

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