Hello...my name is Hazel...I am a one year old Border Collie and I was told
that you people might be able to answer some ferret questions for me.  I'd
better make this quick because Mommy and Daddy HATE it when I use the
computer ( they freaked over last month's America Online bill!!!!).
1) Why is it that when I walk by the couch, all three of Mommy and Daddy's
   precious little ferrets will leap onto my back?  Ofcourse they ALWAYS
   miss and slam into my butt and scare me.
2) How come when I take a nap in the living room, my body becomes a ferret
   jungle gym?  They use my nose as a slide!!!  Ever tried to sleep with a
   ferret sliding on your nose?
3) Why is MY food apparently more appealing than their food?I'd like to eat
   just once without having to fend off renegade weasa......I mean ferrets.
   If I chase one that has my food the other two have a feast.  I just want
   peace.
4) Why am I so darn fascinating?  I feel like I'm always leading a parade!!
   In fact mommy uses me as a way to collect her precious little babies...she
   just has me walk around and they all come out of hiding.
5) Do my paws really taste THAT good?  I swear I think Daddy puts ferratone
   on me or something.
6) Why does the little one (Sorrel) stand in the middle of the hallway and
   not let me past?  You know I do weigh 25 pounds and I COULD bite her in
   half.  The oldest one (Sable) TRIES to get me to carry her in my mouth...
   maybe I could pick her up just a little too hard one time.....nah.
7) Why do I still love them so much when they are such pains?  I almost had
   to beat up another dog in the park last week cause he got too close to
   Slate and Sable.  I guess its because when I'm REALLY tired, I'l lie down
   andthey will curl up around my neck or tummy and snuggle close....I like
   that part.
 
If you can help me with these questions I would appreciate it.  Its just
confusing why Mommy and Daddy like them...they don't protect the house,
speak on command, or even catch Frisbees!!  If you need to reach me I'll be
in the living room with a ferret on my nose.
 
                                     Arf Arf,
 
 
                                      Hazel
[Posted in FML issue 1238]