Dear Ferret Folks-
 
Anonymous poster asked yesterday
>Hey, is it normal for a new ferret (10 weeks) to only want to play all
>day?  Mine doesn't want to be held or cuddled, it just wants to chase my
>toes and the dog!
 
Dear Poster, have you ever heard of the perpetual-motion machine?  Many
people have claimed to have invented one, but the U.S.  patent office
denies ever having been presented with a feasable plan for one.  It
remains the Holy Grail of the amateur inventor...sort of the way phyisists
dream of engineering a genuine cold-fusion reaction.  Many have tried, to
date all have failed.
 
In the natural world, the closest analog to the perpetual motion machine
is the young ferret.  They squirm, wiggle, bounce, climb, scramble,
dig, slither, gallop, pounce, leap, dance, twist, sniff, and sneak.
Ceaselessly.  It is even widely held that some can levitate, or even
teleport from one place to another instantaneously.  (Me, I suspect that
they disassemble their molecules into a sort of vapor-cloud or palsma and
ooze beneath closed doors or little gaps, but that's just my theory.)
 
They have two speeds, and only two.  They are either on, i.e. writhing to
get out of your arms and on to the floor where they proceed to wreak
unimaginable, enthusiastic havoc, or they are off, i.e. sound asleep in
the hammock.
 
Get used to it.
 
Sincerely,
Alexandra in Massachusetts
[Posted in FML issue 3728]