To Yuki:
 
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, oh gosh, oh gee, oh my sides hurt now.  (Not laughing
at you, just at the thought that *I* could keep them all straight).
Thinking that we who have multiple ferrets have some special super human
power to correctly call the kids by the right names is just great, but
soooooo untrue.
 
I operate the Ferrets First Rescue and Shelter, there are 26 ferrets here
now, their names are Boo, Beau, Buddy, Bandit, Boomer, Trouble, Jake,
Didley, Devadander, Duchess, Emily, Rikki, Angel, Ally, Asher, Festus,
Munchie, Sugar, Sam (m), Sammy (f), a new little girl who was only called
"Little Girl", she will have a "real" name as soon as I can think of one to
fit her personality, and the little boy who **was** a biter, he still has no
name.  Donna, my roomate, has four, their names are Chance, Sly, Tara, and
Topanga (nickname: the Pangy bug).  Now, if you think it doesn't sound that
hard, you were not paying attention.  Go back and re-read all the names
"outloud" and as quickly as you can, as if rushing to break up a fight or
trying to intervene when one "backs up" beside the litterbox instead of
getting in it.  Now, try it again.  Get the idea??  Most ferrets here think
their name is really "whatevertheheckyournameis".  I try, but believe me, it
is confusing.
 
It isn't that I cannot tell one from another, that is the easy part.  I
*know* who I am talking to, I just can't get the right name out.  (This is
very 'insulting' to Emily too.) I try to be careful, but I screw up the
names alot.  We have had ferrets here that looked like twins and Donna could
bring me any ferret in the place, without my knowing which cage it came from
and I could tell her who it was, correctly, at first glance.  With most of
them, and I know alot of you won't believe this, but I can even tell who it
is blindfolded or with my eyes closed.  There is always some distinguishing
thing about each ferret other than color.  I am with these babies all the
time and I know who is soft and flabby, the softness or roughness of their
coats, who is muscled up, who is heavy, who is light, etc.  Example: Beau's
tail won't bend a certain way (had been that way since 8 weeks old), and he
has a habit of flopping his head backward to look at the world upside down.
Boo's hair is different, long and coarse but soft sorta, some sit still a
certain way in your hand, some wiggle constantly.  Festus is "squishy"
because he needs to build up his muscle tone, he was sick a long time.  Jake
and Buddy are close in weight, 4-1/2 pounds or so, but Jake is more muscle
than fat.  Boomer has really soft hair and is medium weight.  Trouble has a
long soft coat and she is little and wiggly.  Sam will lay on his back in
your arms and just let you stroke his fur for the longest time, (and he
closes his eyes, it is adorable), Sugar is FAT, and she only wants on your
shoulder so she can see better what to explore next.  Bandit and Dev are
both whole males, I only have to use my nose with them (more like, hold my
breath) and Bandit is larger with a rougher coat.  Ally has a rough coat and
loves to curl up in your hands, she is very small and has little feet.
Sammy wraps all four legs around you like she is hanging on for dear life
(sorta like she was dangling over the aligator pit and you were her
rescuer).  Well, I could go on and on, just thought some of you might find
it interesting and a fun thing to try.
 
Back to the name thing, I also have a theory, which I am sure those of you
with under 4 ferrets may not have realized.  You see, ferrets have a drastic
affect on the human brain.  The more exposure to fuzzies you have, the more
your brain deteriorates.  I usually have between 24 and 30 here at any one
time, so when I am not working or on the 'pooter', I clean up after them
constantly, I chauffer them to vets, I give medicines, I battle the
greenies, oh, and I eat and sleep once in a while, too.  Note: Lack of sleep
only greatly spppeeds the detriration prcess.  Ooops, did I write that?  The
ole brain is slipping.
 
So, if multiple ferret owners and shelter operators seem a bit "goofy" or
strange, (like rambling on about how to tell one fuzzy from another
blindfolded) it isn't their fault, it is the dreaded fuzzy disease caused by
over-exposure.  You can tell when they have fallen off the edge for sure if
you happen to see one with their watch or car keys in their mouth and they
are running around frantically searching for a place to hide them.
 
Take care, kisses to the fuzzy kids.
 
Trish (Lets see, where did I put those keys.)
Director Frettis rirst ffescue ann shfltr
[Posted in FML issue 1650]