Dear Miss Pookie:
 
I've been looking at the pictures Mommy took when she was at your house.
My, you such an attractive lady.  I especially like the picture of you in
your "Mae West Pose" that Mommy puts up on her computer.  It makes me
swoon........
 
I was wondering, do you have a serious SO in your life?  I mean, I know you
have them hunky hob boys there with you and all, and so many to chose from
right in your own house.  But perhaps you would consider a bit of a younger
man, who for now is a few states away?
 
Mommy calls me her little "dirty white boy" but today I had a bath (it was
so fun!) and I am really white and smell very nice, Mommy tells me.  I also
have, according to Mommy, very pretty little red eyes.  (Although Val and
Andy like to make Mommy mad and call me Mommy's lab rat, I know they love
me....)  I have really good manners (of course, I cannot expect to come
close to your Southern Manners, but I will try......)  I don't bite, except
to play like the time I made Daddy's toe bleed when I tried to drag him to
my hidey hole when he was sitting on that white thing in the bathroom that
holds the water that goes around and around when they push that handle....
 
Dear Miss Pookie, I think that we could have such a great time together.
I am a strong boy and I would protect you when some of the other ferrets
don't have good manners and try to go places you don't want them to go.  I
would share my raisins and Cheerios with you.  I even get along with the
bald poodle that is visiting you that Mommy calls her "little sister."
 
Please think about my request, dearest Miss Pookie.  Meanwhile, I will go
to sleep dreaming of you in my favorite picture.
 
Yours Forever,
 
Snowball
"Behind The Zion Curtain (whatever that is.  Mommy says we're here......)"
[Posted in FML issue 2547]