Dis is da bestest Bear.  Not only did I conquer a St. Bernard Bear a
couple weekends ago, but I went to da ballgame yesterday and stole home
base!  I got it all da way into da bench where da mommy was.  She was
crying, so I gave her kisses.  Den I realized she was laughing so hard
dat she was crying so I went for first base.  Da darn leash wouldn't klet
me make it, so I tried to get a bee dat was attacking my diet pepsi.  Den
i went for a walk in da muddy woods.  Der be GREAT smelly tings in da
woods.  Den I cahsed da kids around da plates.  Dey not run very fast, so
I attack der shoelaces.  Den I wnet to da car and tried to drive, but I
was sooooo tired I fell asleep.  I was a good Bear.  I even gave dem back
home plate in exchange for only 4 raisins.
 
--Bad Beorn Bear da Bernard Beater
 
Dis is Bonnie, da cutest, widdles furrbaby in da world.  I am so happy.
My brudder Clyude is doing better!  He gets to eat dis stuff called Duck
Soup.  He has gained 7 oz in less den a week.  BUT, now he being all
frisky!  He atacked everybodfy last night.  He pounced on dem and remnded
everyone dat he be da second boss behind Bear.  Wait, dt the third boss
cause I da boss.  Den, I so mad, he pounced on me!  ME!  Nobody allowed to
do dat.  So I tore him up one side den the odder.  He laughed at me hand
dooked.  how DARE he!  I was so mad dat I went to da momma and squeaked
for 3 min.  I even got da bushy tail.  CLyde hjust kept lauging, so I bit
him.  Hard.  On da ear.  He den remembered I was da boss and went to go
get Gloin da Fatty.  I gonna go eat dis Duck Soup.  It make him bigger,
maybe it wil make me bigger den he won't laugh at me!  Stupid soup.
 
--Bonnie da Beuatiful Squidget
[Posted in FML issue 3781]