Oh, Karen, you just don't understand.....
 
Forget the ferrets. Forget France. It's my husband I want to talk about.
 
Please, if you bear even a speck of Christian love in your heart for me,
do not post any information to this forum that might encourage my husband
to go out and get yet MORE tractors.  He has three.  How many does a man
need?  That's like asking an alcoholic how many beers he needs.  Answer:
ALL OF 'EM!!!  And let me tell you about tractors.  You park them in some
out of the way place, and the long grass and weeds grow up around them.
You can't see what they are up to.  Well, I'll tell you.  They *breed*.
Yes, they breed.  Before you know it, you have a whole bunch of baby
tractors to go with their aging parents.  And it costs an arm and a leg
to keep them in six-volt batteries.  It's tractor math.
 
You ask any woman in this forum whose husband keeps tractors and she'll
back me up.  The number of tractors in her yard just seems to grow,
mysteriously, as the years pass.  The men deny having ANYTHING TO DO
WITH IT, so the tractors themselves *must* be breeding out back where
nobody can see.  Steer clear of 'em.
 
Alexandra in MA
[Posted in FML issue 4953]