It is with the sadest heart that I write that I lost my beautiful Caesar
last Friday.  This is painful for me to write but hopefully another baby
will benefit from this post.
 
Caesar was 5 yrs and 9 months old.  He was a beautiful red eyed, white, deaf
male that was so strong and precious.  Caesar had his left adrenal removed
two years ago.  He had lost a lot of hair but after bouncing back from
surgery his fur grew in full and thick and he was kicking butts again.  He
loved to carry shoes under the bed and scratch on the metal balcony door to
be let out, always waiting till I was in another room just to see how fast I
would run to open the door.  I think it was a group ferret joke he would
play on me and the others would laugh at me secretly when I'd come running.
Caesar was by all accounts healthy.  He was sluggish on Monday night but
still ate, drank and played.  Tuesday he was still slow, I thought it might
be an insulinoma although there were no outward signs.  I noticed on
Wednesday his hindlegs were weak, I've never seen this before and scoured
all the fml's for answers.  He had an insulin test on Wed.  morning, along
with xrays, bloodwork, you name it.  We knew his spleen was big, but Kodi
has had a large spleen for over a year now.  I took Caesar for exploratory
surgery Thursday, his spleen was huge and about to burst.  The vet removed
the spleen and an abnormal node on the liver.
 
Caesar had lost 40 percent of his blood and the vet feels he went into shock
because of the blood loss and left me some time in the night.  That phone
call at 7:30 in the morning still resonates in my head.  I still can't
believe he's gone.  He wasn't supposed to go yet.  He wanted to live and I
can't help but feel I let him down.  I received a very comforting letter
from Bob C. and am trying to be strong for the others.  Incidently, his
right adrenal was fine, Caesar was an adrenal survivor.
 
The pathology read as follows:
The multiple sections of spleen and lymph node have extensive architectural
obliteration by a diffuse and very malignant lymphoid neoplasm.  The cells
are generally round with irregular and hyperchromatic nuclei, very many
mitotic figures, and no cellular maturation.  One could debate whether this
common malignant lymphoid tumor in ferrets is a lymphoma or a malignant
histiocytoma, but that is purely academic.  Malignant lymphoma in both
locations.
 
All I can add is that if your baby has a large spleen and shows any sign of
weakness, don't wait.  I don't know what else I can add, if anyone has any
questions I will be happy to answer them.  I've been given so much by so
many through the fml and hope that I can offer some help.  I'm having a hard
time letting go of the pain I feel at losing my best buddy, but I think
letting go of the pain will be like losing him all over again.  I've decided
to write Caesar a letter telling him about how happy he made me and the pain
of letting go.  I feel this will help me to move on and be strong.  Mukmuk
sleeps with Kodi now, it's sad, but it's heartwarming that he is not alone.
 
I still put the shoes up high in the closet because to leave them on the
floor 'untouched' is so sad.
 
All the best wishes and prayers for sick babies everywhere.
Peggy and the gang of 4
[Posted in FML issue 2253]