Ok, ok, ok.  I admit it.  I'm a bad role model for ferret parents.  I am.
I have to be, if you consider how bad a role model Tiffany Taylor is for
<gasp> modeling nude, and <gasp gasp> wrestling height-challenged men.  But
I have to be WORSE than Ms. Taylor because I have not only posed for nude
pictures and wrestled height-challenged people, BUT, the height-challenged
people were OF MY OWN SEX!  <blush>
 
I know now that my time spent as a high school wrestler was morally
bankrupting.  Using hindsight, I have realized that my immoral actions
were perpetuated in my children.  Both Andrew and Josh have wrestled other
members of their sex, and did it while wearing skin tight and sexually
exciting leotards.  It is my fault; I encouraged them.  And I never noticed
the blantant sexual imagry when the coach would playfully slap them on the
ass as they went into the ring.  But I am more morally corrupt because I
wrestled in the 95 lb class and was so small I never had to worry about
losing weight to do so.  That means that I repeatedly wrestled young
height-challenged nubile young boys, dressed in skimpy, tight fitting
clothing, and in close contact with their hot sweaty bodies.  I am SOOOO
ashamed.
 
Not only that, but I have also been photographed in the nude.  It started
out innocent enough; I have a single old picture of me as a new born, lying
on my back, it one of those typical internet genitalia poses that shows
everything.  After a long hiatus, I returned to my porn roots twice as an
adult.  When taking a class in photojournalism from Gene Richards (my
all-time favorite shooter), a class requirement was to photograph each
other nude.  It was a requirement, and Gene could care less if we did not
want to do it; it was do it or drop the class.  No way was I going to drop
the class after moving to NYC to learn from the best in the field, so I
just accepted my fate.  We picked each other randomly, and a sweet young
girl from Minnisota got to shoot me.  She photographed me jumping nekid up
and down on beds, chairs, jogging trampolines, and even out windows.  4 or
5 rolls of beautiful black and white of all of me, mostly feeling silly,
cold and rather unimposing, if you get what I mean.  But that was not my
only pornographic experience.
 
Later, in an effort to make a name for myself, I did a photojournalistic
piece on the porn industry in Los Angles.  To get to the truth, I went
undercover (pun intended) and applied for a job.  This reqired a couple of
polaroids of myself just to get into the front door.  So somewhere in a
scabby, greasy porn mongul's bottom drawer are two faded black and white
polaroids of myself, buck nekid and grinning from ear to ear.
 
I recognize now that my lack of appreciable moral fiber as demonstrated by
my child and adult porn careers and by my repeated wrestling of young boys
in front of a gaping, incredulous audience has warped and twisted my
ability to be a good ferret parent.  I can now see that there is a direct
connection between personal lifestyle choices and ferret stewardship.  So
I will offer my ferrets to anyone who can demonstrate their ability to be
a better ferret parent than myself, as well as proving their high moral
character.  I suggest that anyone who is not as morally responsible as KFC
follow my lead.  I expect to see all you pagan trisexual womyn to respond,
as well as you fetish-centered Republican boytoys.  For the sake of our
ferrets, because of our immoral lifestyles, WE MUST GIVE UP OUR FERRETS!
 
If I may remove Voltaire's cap for a moment, while I might have found KFC's
name to be mildly punny (chicken of being fried?), I found the post to be
rather, well, wanting in the intellectual department.  I know of absolute
NO study which adequately demonstrates the connection between nude modeling
and poor animal stewardship.  Without such a study, using large samples
having repeatable results, I would suspect such inferences to be one of
individual prejudice rather than of fact.  But I guess the real test would
be in the actual relationship between Tiffany Taylor and her ferrets,
assuming of course that ferret stewardship IS the issue.
 
Well, *I* have met Tiffany Taylor and spoke with her for several hours.
She is a charming, intelligent, self-possessed young woman who adores her
ferrets.  I found her to be as good of a ferret parent than most I've met
(maybe not better than Troy Lynn Eckhart, but then she is a saint.  I want
her statue in my ferret den), and better than a lot of people on this list
that are commonly percieved as good ferret parents.  If I was a shelter
operator, I would not hesitate in the slightest to adopt to her, and if I
ever had to give up one of my own ferrets, I would be happy if she took one
of them.
 
If posing for nudes makes someone a bad ferret owner, then shooting (or
other artistic renderings) them must be even worse.  I guess the Pope
should whitewash his ceiling and put a pair of boxers on the statue of
David.  Better not let the Pope own ferrets.  And what about God?  He
*MADE* people nekid and encouraged them to run around His nudist garden
flapping in the wind and attracting skeeters.  I guess God would be a bad
ferret parent as well.
 
Oh yeah.  One last question.  If you find out Tiffany Taylor will be
wrestling height-challeneged men in the future, would you let me know?
I'm height-challenged.  I can wrestle.  Of course, I would be totally
professional and would never even notice her magificent ferrets during the
match.
 
Bob C and 19 Mo' Magnificent Mammalian Mustelids
[Posted in FML issue 2857]