Dear Cindy;
 
    Well, I naver seem to have the right words to express sharring your
loss.  I lost my entire birth family in a period of about 4 years.  When
Timmy was fighting his lymphoma I would quietly approach where he was
sleeping to see if he was breathing.  This was for a good four months.  In
April when I let the gang out, Squeeky was not moving or breathing.  She
never showed any sign of ill health at all.  I was supprised the others just
stepped over her, I guess they thought she was asleep.  I've since learned
that I sort of instinctly did the right thing, which was to put her in a
cuppord so they would not discover what had happened.  I'm told they can
actually grieve themselves to death over such a loss.
 
    Squeeky was a gentle--- is a gentle soul, but was not as close to me as
you describe Axel was to you.  The closer & more we share love, I somehow
have felt that a physical thing is somehow strained or ripped apart.  I
don't know the exact metaphysics, but I know it really does feel that way.
I think the communications experts call it "interlock", describing the
degree to which information is shared back & forth.  I & most people refer
to it as love, and it feels so good when it happens, that we just feel very
empty when it's not there any more.
 
    I think ferrets are some of the neatest people there are on Earth.  I am
learning that nothing down here lasts forever, and I value everytime I pick
up one and try to make it a habit to tell them they are a very good boy or
girl, and how much I love them.  We all need that.  I know one person has as
a signature that he learns everything he needs to know about life from
ferrets: Enjoy life, be persistent, and something else that I can't remember
just now.
 
    I remember how my Son one day in junior high was lamenting how most
teachers were not like Mr. X, who had the time to answer your questions,
and just cared in general about his students.  I admitted his observations
were accurate, but he was lucky to have one teacher that inspired him.  Some
kids never have such a role model.  Perhaps we just have to be thankful for
the opportunity to love and be loved by such pure little souls, that bring
so much joy to us that it hurts so much when they're not here.
 
    I pray you can visit with Axel in your sleep time and come to know that
love is eternal, and is the reason for living.
 
        Sincerely, Gary
 
Violence is not strength,  Compassion is not weakness.    From Camelot.
[Posted in FML issue 1365]