Greetings FML'ers,
 
I've kept my mouth shut long enough and I just can't keep it shut any
longer.  On the topic of publicly posting flames... I can see that practice
being the demise of this list.  Even when there are minor disagreements
(Modern Ferret Halloween issue and Ferrets magazine in general immediately
comes to mind) the entire list seems to be in a tizzy.  There are at least
half a dozen posts begging, "Can't we all just PLEASE get along?" Well,
the answer to that is, "No." It's not a matter of "getting along", it's a
matter of differing opinions, tact and diplomacy.  There is no way that
3,000+ people could physically (much less in cyberspirit) be in a room
discussing one topic with everyone agreeing on a sub-topic.  Our love of
ferrets is our common bond but there are many different "schools of
thought" on every aspect of ferret care.  And were it not for the common
bond, would/could we all "get along"?  Probably not.  People here come from
all walks of life and each of us brings our experiences, our hurts, our
"walls", our defensiveness, our vulnerabilities, as well as good ideas,
suggestions, "expertise", information, etc.  In a very strange way, we
are all in a relationship together.  Think how hard a marriage is... now
imagine being "in a relationship" with 3000 other people all at the same
time!
 
I see no good reason to publish private flames.  Sometimes those flames
have a long history (like tit for tat for a flame that happened a loooong
time ago).  Sometimes "flames" aren't meant to be flames but are the result
of a lack of diplomacy and tact or just plain poor wording.  Or perhaps the
recipient is overly sensitive.  I've seen some people on this list say, "Go
ahead, flame away!" and others plead not to be flamed because they KNOW
they have a tendency to take things to heart.  Furthermore, BIG is *not* a
babysitter.  He is a moderator for this list...not a moderator for private
flame contests.  And, what valuable information is found in a flame?  NONE!
Flames are someone's opinion wrapped in angry, fiery words.  Flames are not
meant to convey valuable information, they are meant to get their point
across come hell or high water.  I am not interested in reading the FORCE
of someone's words.  I want information-- plain and simple.  Doesn't BIG
have enough to do without having to settle side-line disputes??
 
One thing I've learned about this list is You're Damned if You Do and
Damned if You Don't.  I've read many posts that go something like
this...."I'm pregnant and can't take care of my fuzzies anymore..." And,
man, oh, man, don't those people get blasted?!  The reponses go something
like this: "Well, you should have thought about your ferrets before you
hopped in the sack!" and "You had your ferrets first and owe them your
allegiance first" or "I wouldn't get rid of MY fuzzies for ANYTHING or
ANYONE" yet when a certain person on this list reveals they are pregnant,
then all kinds of people go to bat for her.  So, which is it??  Is it
acceptable to find a new home for your ferrets if you are pregnant or is
it not?  What' with the double standards?  (This is a rhetorical question
and meant with a twist of sarcasm but I think you get the point.)
 
On to something else that was brought up on todays (11-27) FML...
 
>From:    Betty <[log in to unmask]>
>Subject: Intro and Sandee's posts are ???
> ... I have read all the messages with interest, except one, 'Sandee's'.
>I'm afraid I do not understand any of it.  If it is in code, or if English
>is not 'Sandee's'first language then I apologise, but what on earth is it
>all about?
 
IMHO, Sandee's posts ARE harder to read than Skeeters and so... I am guilty
of skipping over them too as much as I would like to know how those at the
Rainbow Bridge are doing.  I appreciate Sandee's intent but the intent is
lost when it takes more brainpower than I can spare to cipher.  The intent
is lost when the posts are being skipped over and not reaching the
"audience".
 
AND (one more thing)-- As for "Sunshine" being told that she shouldn't be
asking particular questions after being a part of the list for a year....
Sheesh!!  You know how many posts I skip over because they don't pertain
to my situation at this point?  When I first joined, I skipped many posts
about sofa-digging ferts because at that time, none of my ferrets did that.
Well, guess what?  I now have TWO that dig in my sofa.  Hindsight is always
20/20.
 
My apologies for the long post but I just needed to get all this off my
chest!
 
Renee
[Posted in FML issue 2879]